


Permission to Ogle

by DoomKitteh



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 22:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomKitteh/pseuds/DoomKitteh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>EDI, with Liara and Shepard's permission, gives Samantha a few things to help her relax. Only they do the complete opposite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Pics and Vids

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even remember what made me write this, I've had this sitting around for quite a while because I haven't finished it. Which makes me sad because I love it but I cannot figure out what to do next lol (considering it wasn't supposed to be more than one part) ah well, I love Samantha and I love Ashley and so there's this. :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This started way back in 2013 as a sort of joke and short 2 part fic that turned into something more serious and a lot longer. It is currently mid-late 2017 and I have reworked this a bit. Mostly fixing the horrendous travesty that was the ever fluctuating Tense. I will be uploading the rest of the fixed chapters in the next couple of days but felt like I wanted to fix this first one the most. Honestly, hopefully no one even sees this until I'm done! 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for opening this up and giving it a chance! <3

Samantha Traynor stares in uncertain curiosity at the attached files on her omni-tool. When EDI’s body walked towards her (she was almost certain EDI had actually  _ sauntered _ , making her even more of a distraction than usual), Traynor’s curiosity was already peaked. EDI usually spoke to her over the comm links, it was ever so rare the eye-pleasing body made an appearance around her (something she was both grateful and disappointed about).

 

“I have a few things that may interest you,” EDI says. If the accented voice wasn’t a distraction maybe she would have caught the underlying amusement, but she was on a ship full of beautiful women and sometimes she let her mind drift while they were in front of her.

 

Before she has any time to answer, EDI speaks again, “I’ve sent them to your omni-tool. Your discretion is of utmost importance. I would recommend the small area below engineering.”

 

EDI walks away after that, Samantha’s confusion clouding the fact that she knows she can talk to EDI without the body present to ask what the hell she was talking about.

 

So here she is, sitting on a dusty old cot that has undoubtedly seen better days. Her hand hovers over her omni-tool, unsure of what to open first. The file names give her no indication of what they might be, just a letter and a number. She can at least tell that most are pictures and a few seem to be vid files. It’s a little worrying, if she’s honest.

 

She scrolls down, passing the A’s (a relatively large amount), two are titled C-1 and C-2. There are a few D’s and her curiosity is getting the best of her at the dozen or so labeled ST, the only group of files with 2 letters. However, what breaks her is the vast amount of W’s that take up over half of the files given to her, dwarfing the handful of Z’s that follow.

 

Despite the overwhelming number of files in the W’s, she decides to check out the ST ones first. Chewing on her lip, she nervously opens the first file then immediately slams her hand on the omni-tool to shut it down.

 

“Oh my god, holy shit. These are…” Samantha slowly lifts her hand back up, the file flickering to life once more and Sam is relieved that it isn’t a vid file.

 

She tries to talk herself out of looking at it, out of looking at any of them for that matter, however the intensity of the photo gets the best of her and she can’t help but stare at an intimate embrace between Shepard and Liara in the shuttle area when they were on Mars. Sam briefly wonders how EDI even acquired the moment, being told that only Vega and Williams had accompanied Shepard on that particular mission.

 

She hesitantly opens another, not entirely sure the point of being given these, and can’t contain the smile that crosses her face.

 

EDI managed to capture a rare moment of Shepard and Liara relaxing along the Presidium’s park grounds. Shepard’s head was resting on Liara’s lap while Liara was running a hand through Shepard’s hair, a look of awe on her face.

 

A vid file suddenly starts playing and she can’t contain the gasp that escapes her. Shepard, using her biotics, is pinning Liara to the wall of the Normandy’s elevator, giving a searing kiss that leaves both Liara and Sam breathless. Shepard’s low chuckle can be heard briefly as she walks out of the elevator, followed by Liara’s ‘ _ by the goddess _ ’ as she struggles to hold herself up.

 

Swallowing thickly, Sam stares wearily at the rest of the vid files with the ST label. Not wanting at all to see more, for fear of what her overactive imagination is already going to do from those ten seconds alone. 

 

She scrolls back up to the A’s, only needing a glance or two to deduce that they’re all of Diana Allers and while Sam talks to her on a daily basis she’s still a bit wary of the reporter's intentions and isn’t really that interested in anything beside camaraderie.

 

The rest of the list takes her little time to figure out that the letters are a stand-in for the list of female crew aboard the Normandy. The few she can’t figure out are established as she opens and closes them just as quickly. EDI was... kind enough to include former members of the crew.

 

She prays to whatever god that will listen to never let her meet Miranda Lawson or Jack. She does not want to be held responsible for whatever bumbling bull that will come out of her mouth in their presence.

 

Minutes pass as she stares blankly at the list, her emotions torn in different directions. The invasion of privacy was so powerful that she was drowning in guilt from the few that she had already opened, just to figure out how the list worked.

 

And while she knows it is terrible, and she would murder (ok not murder, she’d be terrible at that) anyone who gave these away without her knowing, there is still a part of her that is so insanely curious that she can’t entirely convince herself to leave them be and delete them without looking at the rest.

 

They were all fighting for their lives, well she wasn’t actually fighting, but she was helping and it was beyond stressful. Exhausting too, for that matter, and she doesn’t have a steady chess partner to help her wind down, there was only so much fun she could get out of an AI. So if looking at incredibly beautiful women, who just happened to be people she knew instead of faceless people, was there harm in that? Yeah, yeah there totally was. 

 

“Honestly, I might as well just compare myself to a dirty old man right now,” Sam shudders, “and take about fifty showers.”  _ For various reasons _ , she thinks. “This does not sit well with me, why would EDI give this to me?”

 

“Is there something wrong, Specialist?”

 

“Bloody hell!” Samantha shrieks, her head hitting the pipe behind her.

 

“I apologize for frightening you,” EDI’s voice cuts into her panic.

 

“It’s— it’s alright, no harm done… much,” Samantha mumbles, gingerly poking and prodding the back of her head, feeling for the bump she knows is slowly forming. “I— I don’t feel right looking at these, but thanks for… uh… what exactly is the point of these?”

 

“I was given permission to release them to you, so there is no need to feel bad.”

 

“Permission? Someone gave you— me— permission? Why in the hell would anyone do that?”

 

“Commander Shepard believes you could use a distraction, and it was to reward your hard work. She suggested that maybe it would make up for the toothbrush you didn’t get to bring.” There's a pause and Sam has been too caught off-guard to respond, “that was a joke.”

 

“Of— of course. She-- Shepard approved of me being a crazy voyeur of the crew and herself?” Sam asks, disbelief lacing her tone.

 

“I believe it was Doctor T’soni who suggested it, as she provided most of the content. Shepard was convinced shortly after.”

 

“I’m sure she was,” Sam mumbles with humor. It hadn’t taken Liara more than a day to catch the massive crush she was sporting for Shepard and barely five minutes for Sam to trip over her own tongue and stutter in front of Liara.

 

Liara had, surprisingly, taken it all in good humor. Teasing Samantha with the knowledge as well as taking to some mild flirting. Which was just odd and no one believed her because it was something Liara hadn’t done before, according to everyone else on the Normandy. She realized then that there was a hell of a lot more to Liara T’soni than anyone gave her credit for.

 

There's a lull in the conversation; Sam realizes it strange to think of it that way. EDI has been getting better at the courtesy of saying goodbye despite her being the actual ship, leaving wasn’t really a thing she did. She probably had her lesser processors monitoring everything even conversations or actions that were no doubt, personal. Actually, thinking along those lines was starting to further entice her overactive imagination and add to her growing headache.

 

“Doctor T’Soni has inquired if you have looked at the ‘W’ files. She wishes to know if you would like the rest of them.”

 

Samantha glances at the large list, assuming they’re of Ashley Williams, and looks around incredulously, as if she can see them lying around, “there’s more!?”

 

“Yes,” is all that EDI says.

 

She continues to gape at the list, there were over thirty files and from what she can tell, at least 6 of them are vids. Sam can’t fathom how it would compare to Shepard and Liara. She can’t even decide if she wants them to be similar or of utterly mundane things that won’t evoke any kind of response from her person.

 

She manages to squeak out, “Just— I—,” she clears her throat, “no, uh thanks EDI. I’ll— um, I’ll let her know if I need… the rest.”

 

“I will inform her of your decision, have a good evening, Specialist.”

 

Samantha sputters after that, EDI’s phrasing leaving her feeling even more flustered than she already is.

 

“Liara and EDI should never share the same space; they’re far too dangerous together.” Sam hesitates over what Liara wants her to view the most, and instead scrolls up and opens the two labeled C. The only one she hasn’t figured out yet.

 

Both images show the eldest female member of the crew, Doctor Chakwas, somehow showing off her best assets that Sam has  _ not at all _ noticed before. “Holy shit,” she rasps out. Doctor Chakwas hadn’t even crossed her mind when trying to come up with possible candidates on the list, and now she’s certain she’ll never enter the medbay, or to even open up any of the pictures. This was ridiculous.

 

She goes to close her omni-tool but it appears EDI has more access than Sam knows about, because a video starts playing and Samantha Traynor knows she’s forever doomed— and blessed— with the image of Ashley Williams working out.

 

* * *

 

Samantha hasn’t moved from her spot in the mess since she arrived forty-five minutes earlier. Various members of the crew have come and gone, giving her strange looks after failing to catch her attention with their riveting morning conversations. They were met with silence, Sam’s eyes glazed over and a mug of tea that had grown cold was cradled in front of her face.

 

A motion across the deck finally catches her attention as she hones in on the figure of Ashley Williams, who stumbles along the hallway, the wall holding her up every now and then. It was obvious that she has just woken up and is in desperate need to drown herself in a cup of crappy coffee, or five.

 

Sam inhales quickly, her thoughts never having strayed far from the video that had played out and the subsequent pictures that had popped up alongside it. Her gaze follows Ashley as she finally manages to drag herself to the coffee and quickly downs a cup with a grimace and then pours herself another. She let’s out a sigh of satisfaction and Sam whimpers.

 

She was going to kill Liara and EDI, and Shepard too. Ok, threaten probably because there’s no way she would manage even a hit on any of them, she’s sure. She’d probably curl into a ball and cry if any of them had any hostile intention towards her.

 

Ashley is grabbing one of the fresh fruits they managed to snag up earlier that week, throwing a slight nod in Samantha’s direction before she heads back to the lounge, not at all noticing how Sam’s face reddens and her eyes gloss over again as she follows Ashley’s departure.

 

“Something on your mind, Specialist Traynor?” Liara’s voice rips her out of her current state and somehow manages to remind her of the rippling muscles in Ashley’s back back while she was helping James move around some boxes in the cargo bay. She doesn’t even notice the tea that freed itself from her mug when she starts in surprise at the vocal intrusion.

 

“I hate you, I hate you so, so very much,” Sam mutters as her lip curls in distaste as she finally notices her tea is cold.

 

“Oh I am sure the sentiment is quite the opposite,” Liara manages a smirk that is delightfully sensual and yet Sam thinks it’s downright evil.

 

Before Sam can deny everything, Shepard strolls up and drops a kiss on Liara’s head before setting down a plate overflowing with breakfast foods. “Mornin’” she mumbles, her mouth already full of food.

 

Liara gives Shepard an affectionate glance as Traynor’s thoughts stray to the rare occasion Shepard blurted out something entirely random about her time with Cerberus. It was a few weeks ago, she thinks. Some of them were enjoying a late meal, half the crew scattered around the mess and Sam had yet to touch her food, more focused on the heaping plate of food in front of the Commander. Shepard had grinned, not caring that she hadn’t fully finished what was in her mouth (something Sam was coming to understand was certainly an unfortunate habit), and blamed the newly found appetite on the crazy amount of biotics she now possessed, something she delighted in displaying at random and the most inopportune moments.  Garrus chimed in seconds later that Shepard always ate like that, earning him a jolt of blue.

 

Sam manages a smile as Liara rests her head on Shepard’s shoulder, her hand resting on the arm Shepard wasn’t using to shove food into her mouth, before glaring at them, “I hate you both,” she hisses, “you both suck and I have half a mind to do… to do something awful!”

 

Shepard chokes, coughing a few times before she lets out a laugh, Liara rubbing her back in soothing circles, “I take it EDI and Liara gave you whatever it was they’d been working on.”

 

“Wh— whatever it was!?” she whispers harshly. “Are you insane? I cannot—” her words catch in her throat, the woman she can’t get off her mind for the last six hours strolls back into the room, in their direction.

 

“Hey Skipper, plan on letting anyone else eat?” Ashley steals a couple pieces of the crappy fake bacon that adorns Shepard’s plate and props down in the seat next to Sam.

 

Samantha is keenly aware that she should not be staring, and she is indeed breaking so many rules she set for herself in the workplace. The conversation around her simmers to a buzz as the sight of Ashley fills her vision. She doesn’t hear Shepard jokingly reprimand Ashley, forcing her to add  _ ma’am _ to her previous statement. She’s too caught up in the movement of Ashley’s long hair moving across her face, the urge to move it behind her ear is great and Sam finds herself speaking, “I really hate all of you.”

 

“You alright, Specialist?” Ashley’s worry filters through Sam’s haze.

 

“F— fine! I’m fine,” she manages to get out and stands quickly. Cursing aloud as the rest of her tea spills all over her and the table. She scrambles away from Ashley, who tries to assist in cleaning and takes off towards the elevators. Hoping to lose herself in the work she knows is waiting for her.

 

“The hell was that about?” she hears Ashley say, followed by Liara’s laughter before the elevator doors close and she’s rescued from further embarrassment.


	2. Chapter 2

Samantha sighs as she lethargically moves towards one of the shuttle bay’s consoles. She ponders a few of the pistols, it's been years since she's actually held a service gun, let alone fire one at anything (she tries to ignore the fact that her coveted toothbrush was more expensive than some of them, apparently it was cheaper to fight mercenaries and reapers than it was to fight plaque and tooth decay). Truthfully her reasoning for wanting one now was to try and find new distractions from the content she received a couple of days ago.

 

_God, had it really only been two days?_

 

“Need any help?”

 

Sam’s reaction is slow, she turns , shock clearly showing on her face, “damn it!” she shouts. In her lethargic haste to turn and face Cortez she stumbles over her feet, the exhaustion severely limiting her body’s coordination.

 

“Whoa, hey,” Steve reaches out, steadying Sam, “I don’t think you should be checking out any weapons if you’re this tired.”

 

“I can’t sleep and I need a distraction,” she can hear the defeat in her own voice and she’s too tired to even care.

 

Cortez pulls out a small stool he usually keeps hidden from Vega, something he started doing in an effort to get the man to stop pretending to be interested in conversation while attempting to show off his body. Steve can admit, to himself at least, that he likes the show but there is only so much of Vega’s arrogance he can handle at any given time (even if it is well-deserved).

 

Steve helps Sam onto the stool and steadies her, bending slightly to get a good look at her. He shakes his head at her dejected expression, “so you thought playing with guns would help?” He chuckles, walking to his work space and grabs one of his bottled waters and hands it over, “I think only Garrus and the LC can find that kind of peace with a gun.”

 

He realizes too late that something he said was not what she wants to hear when Sam lets out a frustrated cry and brings her hands to her hair, clutching at it and taking deep breaths. “Who do I blame for that reaction?”

 

“Doctor T’Soni,” she states, rubbing at her burning eyes. All she wants is sleep, but the second she closes her eyes, visions of the muscles rippling across Ashley’s back twisted and shimmering with perspiration as she lays punches to the work-out bag invade her mind. She realizes every place she has gone to try and ignore the thoughts of Ashley running rampant in her brain were the places Ashley was most often in, she chooses to ignore that revelation.

 

The confusion Sam see’s on Cortez’s face has her laughing, “I’m— I’m sorry,” she manages to wheeze out, the laughter bubbling up again and she nearly falls off the stool.

 

“Yeah you definitely need some sleep,” he mutters, holding her steady. “You’re not drunk, right?” He asks after of moment of watching her completely lose it.

 

“No,” she gasps out, her laughter fading slightly, “I wish.” She pauses, “No, no I don’t. That would probably make this worse,” she has another bout of laughter, bordering on hysteria. It’s followed by hiccups and tears.

 

Slightly unnerved, Steve calmly places his hand over Sam’s, “I find it hard to believe Doctor T’Soni is responsible for your current state. She seems a bit shy with almost everyone on this ship.” He hesitates before adding, “unless it’s some kind of crush because—”

 

The peal of laughter that follows catches him off-guard. Full and rich, like he just told the funniest joke she's ever heard. Not at all like the previous bouts that seemed like she was bordering crazy town.

 

“You alright, Specialist?” The eerie feeling of deja vu flickers through Sam when she catches the gaze of Ashley Williams staring curiously at the two of them as she steps into the shuttle bay.

 

“Fine, perfectly fine!” Sam was proud of herself that she didn’t visibly flinch or scamper away, something she was guilty of doing for the past two days. The squeak in her voice, however, was something else entirely. She can feel her cheeks flush quickly when Ashley moves closer, her eyes unwillingly lower as she stares, mesmerized, by the slight sway of Ashley’s hips.

 

Her face grows warmer as her memory flashes back to the second vid that EDI had _graciously_ opened for her.

 

 

  ~*~*~

 

 

_It takes her about three minutes into the vid to cover her eyes and try to shut it down. Another twenty-four seconds to realize that Edi, and Liara by proxy, are forcing her to view them in their entirety and will not allow her to turn them off._

 

_In all honesty, the vid has been as tame as she originally hoped. The only problem was while it was perfectly innocent vid of ashley cleaning and reassembling her guns, Samantha’s mind had chosen to go into a different, more risque path. She can’t ignore the muscles in Ashley’s arms move and jump as she skillfully and methodically strips her sniper rifle and cleans it before piecing it back together and then moving on to her shotgun._

 

_Sam’s brain decides it is perfectly ok to go from Ashley skilled with her hands with guns, to skilled with her hands in other avenues. Therein lie the problem. While these viewings were completely harmless, almost like watching security footage, Samantha’s imagination has other ideas._

 

_~*~*~_

 

Sam jerks out of her memories when she feels a warm hand on her forehead, “you feel kind of warm,” Ashley says softly.

 

She won’t piece it together until later, but Ashley’s concern and care of her supposed decline in health was almost identical to her demeanor when she was working on her guns. One of the many quirks of Ashley that Sam is beginning to grow fond of. _Reluctantly growing fond of, completely reluctantly._

 

It takes Sam a seconds to catch up to the fact that Ashley is inches away from touching her, but as she finally processes it, her new-found clumsiness arises with abandon— well she’s going to pretend it’s new.

 

She let’s out an undignified squawk as she tries to lean away, only to misjudge her position and her eyes widen as she feels the stool beneath her move and her body continues backward.

 

The pain that ripples through her back and head pale in comparison to the humiliation she’s feeling as she stares up the ceiling of the shuttle bay. The snorts of laughter Steve and Ashley attempt to smother, after their initial worry, does not help.

 

Sam groans and covers her face, “that did not just happen.” Before she can attempt any kind of dignity (she’s sure it would only serve to make matters worse) she feels herself being pulled off the ground.

 

She stumbles as she’s pulled upright, but a hand rests on her elbow and another settling itself onto her hip just as quickly in attempt to steady her.

 

Her breath catches in her throat when she opens her eyes to find Ashley closer than ever. Ashley’s eyes tracing her face and body, checking over her, concern evident, despite the teasing grin at Sam’s clumsiness. “Well, I guess it’s good most of your work consists of you standing around the CIC. Wouldn’t want these pesky chairs to get in your way.”

 

Sam only nods, distracted by how close Ashley is. Her body tingles where there’s contact with the lean, muscular form in front of her, her time in basic training recognizing the smell that accompanied hours of cleaning guns, mixing with a smell that could only be Ashley.

 

“So you do have a soft side, LC,” Steve jokes. He glances curiously at Sam’s glazed expression.

 

“Just for the ladies in distress,” she winks at Sam and gives her one more look-over. Ashley nods her head as if to affirm everything is good, and pats Sam on the shoulder. She steps back, just far enough to get out of her personal space, but close enough should Sam have another tumble.

 

Something Ashley was starting to suspect was getting increasingly more likely to happen as Sam slouches over, just slightly, when Ashley let go.

 

“Sisters,” Ashley further clarifies for Steve. “Oldest of four, helped take care of them whenever my dad was deployed.”

 

“Being like a sister to you is the last thing I want,” Sam mutters, unaware that the words left her mouth.

 

“Did you say something?” Ashley asks over Steve’s laugh.

 

Sam blinks a few times, her mind still trying to catch up with itself. Once she realizes her error, her face flushes and she tries to backpedal her way out of it, “n— nothing! No, no I didn’t. Words were not said by me. I said nothing. Nope.”

 

Ashley stares at Sam like there is indeed something wrong. Steve continues to laugh, slowly walking back towards the work he set aside; Ashley has a handle on things, he is sure Sam has forgotten he was there anyway.

 

“Are you sure you’re ok? Do you want me to take you to Chakwas to have her check you over?”

 

Sam nods and takes a deep breath, barely able to stop the moan at the scent she inhales that comes back with a vengeance and only one thing crosses her mind.

 

She’s entirely _fucked_ and a hundred percent in lust with Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chakwas and Tali are suspicious of things, and Ashley has no idea what is happening. Also, Shepard is horrible at building model spaceships.

Halfway up to the third deck Samantha stiffens, pulling out of the haze she is in as she realizes where they’re heading. In her current state— and the only reason she let Ashley accompany her— Ashley could ask her to dance naked with the newly acquired Prothean (a real live Prothean, the crew tended to verbalize over and over) and she would agree to do so without a second thought.

Speaking of, Sam takes a quick glance out of the corner of her eye and tries not to vocalize the whimper that wants to escape. Ashley is still close, poised to catch her should she fall again. It is something Sam briefly thinks of doing, falling, but she knows she iss too exhausted to put in the effort. She wants to be able to remember every detail; the way Ashley would look at her, probably worried and nurturing all at the same time. The way the muscles in her arms would have felt, holding Sam’s weight; all lean and noticeable and great, how warm she has to be. Sam bets that if Ashley were to catch her and lean in close, she could even get a nice brush of that soft looking hair on her face. Such a shame her tired mind iss not up to the task (never too tired to overthink it though). “Pity,” she sighs softly.

She feels more than sees Ashley shift and she realizes the elevator doors have opened. Ashley places a gentle hand on her elbow and steers her towards the med-bay. Sam misses the amused smile from Liara who is sipping tea and looking over a datapad and the curious questions Liara receives from Tali about what’s so funny about locating extra filters for her suit.

Upon entering the med-bay, Sam freezes by the door, Ashley bumps into her and her gaze immediately goes to the floor.

“Williams, such a rare sight to see you in here when a mission isn’t involved.” Ashley grins and Chakwas continues, “and Specialist Traynor! What a delight, and how fortuitous, seeing as how you’ve managed to evade the physical every member of this crew is supposed to have.”

“Uh, well you see… the thing is…” Sam briefly glances up, guilty expression on her face and quickly looks away. “I don’t actually do the physical stuff, so is that truly necessary?” she asks, her voice squeaking in the middle of her fumbling. Ashley laughs and carefully leads her to one of the beds, making sure she’s seated before leaving with a whispered, ‘good luck’.

“When was the last time you slept?” Chakwas asks, suddenly in Sam’s personal space, taking her temperature and checking her vitals.

Sam figures it's a good thing Chakwas is as skilled as she is and notices without needing to be told. Then again, what that said about her overall appearance was disheartening. “For longer than a couple hours at once? Two days ago,” she yawns, “stupid Liara.”

“Hmm. No concussion, that’s good,” Chakwas hums, positioning Sam so she’s now lying on the bed. She can’t help but notice how Sam keeps avoiding her gaze, her person all-together. “I might have to get Commander Shepard to give you some shore leave the next time we land somewhere suitable.”

“Oooh, shore leave,” Sam mumbles, almost incoherently. She's not even sure she's taken the time to lie down, because now that she's horizontal she can't seem to move, “Time away from the evil influences!”

“Yes, away from… evil influences,” Chakwas slowly repeats. She is most definitely going to be having a very interesting conversation with the Commander. She rummages around in a drawer, pulling out a small tube with a needle attached. “This is a small dose of etomidate to put you to sleep for a few hours, okay?”

“As long as it isn’t Thaopa-- thiopants-- that other stuff,” there was a pause and Sam tries to move, albeit lethargically. Chakwas immediately lowers the dosage, Sam iss about to pass out on her own accord, but she needs to stay asleep and for whatever reason, she has trouble with that on her own. “Only if it means I won’t dream such evil, rude, arousing dreams. Those are bad.”

“Yes. I’m sure they are. Rest now,” Chakwas chuckles as Samantha’s eyes finally slip shut. “EDI please inform the Commander that I wish to speak with her once she is free.”

“The Commander is currently doing an insufficient job at constructing a scale model of the salarian interceptor, an interruption would be advisable.”

Chakwas laughs and grins as she imagines the Commander concentrating on her model ship, no doubt frustrated beyond belief, “Yes, thank you, EDI.”

“You are most welcome, Doctor Chakwas.” Chakwas briefly thinks EDI sounds more accommodating than usual, she dismisses it and makes her way to the Commander’s quarters.

 

~*~*~

 

The site that greets her upon entry is only slightly unexpected. The pout and frustration dancing over the Commander’s face is exactly how she pictured the Commander. The pieces from the model ship stuck in the Commander’s hair, however, was not something she thought could happen.

“The great Commander Shepard, first human Spectre, defeated by glue and plastic.”

Shepard’s hand slips and she somehow manages to put the wing of the ship through the cockpit. She scowls at the low laughter from the doctor, “I can put almost any weapon, currently on and off the market, and sometimes real airborne ships together,” Shepard pouts, pushing aside the monstrosity in front of her, “yet these things I have to bribe Tali or Ashley to put together for me and not tell anyone.”

“Well, let’s just hope the Reapers don’t find out about your weakness of model building.” Chakwas moves towards the Commander, who iss sitting on her floor, using the low table as her work-space, and bends down to pick up a few stray pieces, “I’m here for official business, unfortunately.”

Shepard pauses in trying to remove pieces of the salarian interceptor from her hair, “What is it?”

“There is a member of the crew who is in need of shore leave,” she starts, hesitating in her wording, “It isn’t anything risky, yet, but there will be extreme ramifications and loss of functionality if the stress levels do not decrease, and soon.” Chakwas folds her arms, “truthfully, most of the crew could use the down time, but for now in the case of mental health we do have someone who could use it almost immediately. Preferably in the next few days, if possible, Commander.”

Shepard sits back, running a hand through her hair, growing frustrated as it gets tangled in the mess of plastic and glue. Pursing her lips, she has a feeling she knows who Chakwas is referring to. As the highest ranking officer on the ship she knows she can ask, to be certain, but there isn’t really a need. There is only one person who is noticeably falling apart, rapidly, and she is worried because she has a feeling they haven’t even left the shallow end of all the shit they are going to be swimming through for this war.

She makes a mental note to speak with Liara and EDI, there was more going on than she had been told.

“There are a few things I need to take care of on Tuchanka that I’m afraid cannot wait. For now,” Shepard stands, still tugging at her hair, “if at all possible, I’ll put Traynor on light duty.”

Chakwas gives Shepard a stern look, “I believe you know more about this situation than I was aware of, Commander.”

Shepard winces, realizing her error, “I wish I knew the exact details, but I think I know part of the cause and will try and rectify the issue. Believe me when I say that you do not want to know. Hell, I don’t think I want to know,” Shepard grumbles, continuing to struggle with the glue in her hair.

Chakwas walks closer, pulls out the last piece stuck in the Commander’s hair and ignores the yelp of pain and whimper at the loss of a small chunk of hair, “if this has anything to do with her behavior earlier, then I have to disagree with that assessment. Please do not dally in your missions and preferably do so with minimal injury. Specialist Traynor is not the only one on the verge of some serious mental and physical distress.” With a perturbed look, Chakwas nods, leaving the Commander alone with a chunk of her hair stuck to the salarian interceptor side panel in her hand.

  
“Dismissed?”

~*~*~

 

“What do you think that was about?” Comes Tali’s filtered voice, pulling Liara out of her musings.

She knows, of course— or in theory as it were— why Traynor is being escorted to the med-bay. There is a sort of strange pleasure in watching Traynor become slightly unhinged and flustered when she encountered certain crew members. On a surprising note, it also appealed to her intellectually. While she has become more confident in her own person, she still hasn’t gotten a true handle on how to deal with humans other than Shepard (and even Shepard still confuses her at times). It is a curious thing to watch as the innocent (mostly) pictures Samantha had been given have somehow become something far more damning than Liara realizes.

Seeing Ashley escort Sam sparked something else. There was genuine worry in Ashley’s actions and facial expressions. Liara bites her lip, wondering if perhaps she has gone too far. She has to wonder if EDI is monitoring these things, maybe she can continue to observe later, there was no doubt more surveillance of the two interacting.

“Perhaps Specialist Traynor has been working too hard,” Liara finally responds, ignoring the questioning tilt of Tali’s head. She knows that Tali doesn’t believe her. She is also aware that if Tali finds out what has transpired, she won’t be entirely too happy for being out of the loop.

Not to mention the endless teasing Liara knows will happen when Tali finds out she was jealous.

Tali points a finger at Liara, about to call her on her obvious avoidance, when Chakwas storms out of the med-bay and draws Tali’s attention. “This just keeps getting interesting! Liara I know you know what’s going on, Miss Shadow Broker!” Tali turns to face Liara, only to find her missing and Ashley in her place, food halfway up to her mouth.

“Liara’s the Shadow Broker?”

Tali draws back in surprise, the filtered squeak sounding so odd that Ashley chokes on her food in amusement, “serves you right,” Tali grumbles, putting a hand to her fast beating heart. “Keelah, don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on people?” Tali ignores the smirk on Ashley’s face, “where did Liara go?”

Ashley shrugs, it wasn’t unusual for Liara to disappear when she walked into a room. She was going to have to sort that out soon, as soon as she sorted herself and the Commander out. Ashley stabs at her food in aggravation, this shit with her grudges against Cerberus and the Commander’s association with them were starting to affect more than just Ashley and Shepard and she knows she is going to have to explain what had really happened, and soon.

“Must have had some Shadow stuff to take care of. Guess I missed out on a lot,” she says under her breath. Putting aside her misgivings of the previous year, Ashley stirs her food and looks at the med-bay briefly before turning back to her food.

“Is there something wrong with—” Tali gestures behind her, “well whoever that was. I think Liara said her name but I missed it.”

“Comms Specialist,” Ashley chews on her bottom lip and continues to move her food around in worry. “Probably spoke with her or saw her before going to the War Room,” Tali nods, “I think she’s just overworked herself. Girl looks like she hasn’t slept in days. That and she hit her head,” Ashley says, feeling guilty about being the cause of it, she’s sure. Not that she knows why, but perhaps Traynor wasn’t entirely too keen on people being in her personal space. She can’t really think of any other reason as to why someone would jump back so quickly.

“Was she looking for communications under something?” Tali asks, laughing.

Unable to help herself, Ashley snorts in laughter, “no. I think I got a little too close and she freaked, fell off the stool she was sitting on and,” Ashley hits her hand on the table, “bam, right on the floor.”

Tali crosses her arms and Ashley can see Tali squinting her eyes, “What?”

“Communications Specialist Traynor? S something…” Tali trails off trying to remember what she heard around the ship, “Samantha Traynor, right?”

Ashley nods, “Yeah, that’s the one.” She frowns, not sure why it matters.

She can’t see it, but from the sound of it, Tali is grinning like a fool, “Oh yeah, I’m sure she jumped away from you because you were too close.” Tali doesn’t even finish speaking before falling into a few peals of laughter, “I’m sure you also think her red face was because she’s running a fever or something.”

“What else would it be?” Ashley stares at Tali in confusion and frustration.

Tali continues, ignoring Ashley, “Liara definitely is up to something and she’s keeping it from me!” Tali stands and gives a careless wave to Ashley as she makes a beeline towards Liara’s room, entering without even knocking.

“What the hell is going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this before Sept 1st 2017 you're then very well aware of the part I took out. Which was here at the end. I did so if only because I realized it implies I would write something more along that avenue later on and while I might, it is a long time from now and it felt very weirdly placed when there still isn't anything like it 7 chapters later.


	4. Accidental Confessions with Joker

Sam jerks awake, she can feel the sweat on her body rapidly cooling, and it brings her a small amount of relief from the heat that seems to be coursing through her. She’s grateful she had the foresight to bunker down in the sub-deck of engineering; the gasping breaths she’s currently taking would have drawn too many questions had she been in the crew quarters. The dream she just woke from,of Ashley taking her against the window in the Observation Deck, is still lingering.  


 

She wearily rubs at her face, it’s been several days since her visit to Chakwas and she’s grown out of her inability to look at look at any of her female coworkers. 

 

Shepard taking the ground crew to Tuchanka several days ago helped immensely and they have yet to come back. Her usefulness increased drastically, as well. Trying to coordinate between a group of turians and track Cerberus all while Reapers were within their vicinity helped her focus on more important things.

 

Sam shivers, her hands grip the fabric of her military issued pants in an effort not to touch her skin. The very vivid dream of Ashley taking her against the window in the Observation Deck is still fresh and she aches to be touched. Sitting up, Sam leans against the pipes and tilts her head back as far as she can and lets out a shaky breath.

 

In hindsight it was a relief to have a dream that didn’t revolve around Reapers and the Normandy floating in pieces in a dark realm of space. Then again, before this mess even started her dreams had featured a familiar AI’s voice and some interesting scenarios thanks to her rather bizarre extranet searches during the copious amounts of downtime.

 

She knows anyone might argue that her current Lieutenant Commander filled dreams are steps above her nightmares, but she has to disagree. Both cause her to wake up feeling unrested and frustrated.

 

She contemplates a cold shower as she calls out, “EDI,” her voice cracks and her face scrunches in confusion, she sounds terrible. “H— how long have I been asleep?” she questions, mostly to herself but EDI answers.

 

“It has been two point six hours.”

 

“Great,” Sam groans. It takes her a moment to gather her bearings before asking EDI what she had originally intended. “Has there been any change?”

 

“The Commander and crew returned an hour ago for repairs and debriefing. They are currently preparing to return to Tuchanka’s surface in a few hours.”

 

Sam scrambles to her feet, nearly falling face first off the cot in her haste, “Shit! EDI, why didn’t you wake me?” She struggles to get her jacket off the chair and almost rips it in the process. “God, this is great. I’m going to be thrown into the brig. Wait, do we even have a brig?”

 

Sam continues to struggle, one arm in her jacket while the other is flailing, trying to catch the other side, “Shepard’s going to sick Liara on me or something. Or maybe force me to sit and listen to Joker talk about how amazing he is.” She stops as a horrific thought comes to mind, “She— she won’t make me clean the lavatories with my toothbrush, will she? I just got that back,” Sam whines.

 

“I’m sure the Commander will spare your toothbrush, Samantha.”

 

Sam screeches and barely manages to catch herself from tumbling over the chair, “Doctor Chakwas!” she screeches again and shakily plants herself on the cot. Sam covers her face, only letting one of her eyes peek through her fingers to see the doctor chuckling at her misfortune.

 

“Had I known you were this accident prone I would have forced you into the med-bay sooner.”

 

Having no witty retort ready as her heartbeat is wildly out of control and her brain is fried Sam doesn’t have a coherent response, “I— is— what?”

 

Chakwas holds out her hand and Sam recognizes what’s in it immediately, “I’ve had EDI monitor your stress levels, and she has informed me that chess might take your mind off a few things.”

 

Sam is silent for a few moments before she chokes out, “how often do you monitor my stress levels, EDI?”

 

“I keep a constant surveillance of all the crew’s thermal readings and fluctuations of abnormalities in case there is an emergency.”

 

“Of course you do,” her yes dart around nervously, not sure she can handle the knowledge that EDI can read her body temperature, amongst other things. Her eyes land back on Chakwas, “Oh crap, I have to get back to the CIC!”

 

Chakwas places her hand on Sam’s shoulder, stopping her frantic movement, “No. The Commander can handle things without you for at least another hour. Sit with me and we’ll play a round or two. I’m afraid I’m a bit rusty, so do go easy on this old lady.”

 

Sam nods and gives a small grin, the stern voice of the doctor ensures she won’t bother questioning anything and Sam stays where she is, letting Chakwas take the chair.

 

As Chakwas turns on the GUI interface she says, “EDI, inform the Commander that Specialist Traynor has another hour to relax before her help can be requested.”

 

“Acknowledged, Doctor Chakwas.”

 

“Now then,” Chakwas grins and Sam is sure it’s supposed to be disarming, but it feels anything but, “try not to defeat this old soul too badly.”

 

~*~*~

 

An hour and a half pass before Chakwas leaves the sub-deck and heads for the elevators.

 

Sam was clearly distracted and had been a less than stellar opponent. It was another mark in the negative column for her mental stability. Chakwas had overheard from some of the crew that Sam had something of a competitive streak when it came to games like chess and it was better for everyone to not play against her unless you had years of experience. Chakwas was by no means an expert, but she could hold her own for a time. What worried her was that Sam had nearly lost countless times, and hadn’t noticed.

 

It was clear to her that Samantha still hadn’t had the rest she needed. The next few hours were going to take their toll on everyone if the ships scuttlebutt had any merit to it. Knowing Commander Shepard, curing the genophage is something she will have a hand in. The relaxation she forced Shepard to give to Samantha isn’t enough anymore and with EDI’s strange interruptions about Sam’s welfare, while appreciated, wasn’t a task she had given the AI to do. Shepard’s knowing grimace and seemingly first-hand knowledge of Sam’s predicament and Liara’s constant about-face whenever Sam enters the same space were more than just coincidence and Chakwas can’t ignore it any longer.

 

There are undoubtedly other driving points because Sam held up remarkably well under the constant pressure of the Cerberus attack two days prior. So her ability in the field, as it were, was not in question. Not yet. With the lack of relaxation during her personal time, however, Chakwas knew it was only a matter of time for Sam to be off her game and Chakwas wanted to avoid that disaster at all cost.

 

“EDI, please send the Commander to med-bay the second she becomes available.”

 

“The Commander will be arriving momentarily, she is finalizing mission parameters.”

 

“Thank you,” Chakwas slowly let the words out. Informing her of Shepard’s doings was unusual when it came to formal business. It happened around the same time she found out about Traynor’s issues. 

 

“What is going on?” She says to herself, idly going through her medical supplies for the battle ahead.

 

~*~*~

 

“Joker, once this shit is done set course for the Citadel,” Shepard barks out the second she steps foot out of the med-bay and away from an irate doctor.

 

“Aye aye, Commander.”

 

Her shoulders sag in relief now that she’s out of sight from Chakwas. She’s going to have to have a talk with EDI and Liara. Sam as well. All conversations she isn’t looking forward to. She wonders if she should talk to Ashley, but she doesn’t know enough about the situation to warrant that just yet. She has a small spark of hope that Ashley won’t even be as involved as Shepard thinks she is, “Fat chance, with the way things are going.”

 

“Is everything alright?”

 

The worry in Liara’s voice is clear and it does little to calm her fraying nerves. With the combination of the last several weeks and the lecture she just endured, it takes all she has to keep her anger in check.

 

It isn’t enough.

 

“Not now, Liara,” her words are harsh and Shepard makes haste towards the elevator. If there wasn’t a genophage to cure, an organization to rip apart, and a bunch of crazy ass Reapers to destroy she’d head straight to the bar.

 

She spots Ashley, James, and a forlorn and exhausted looking Sam sitting in the mess, “what the hell did I get myself involved in?” She curses to herself, angry at herself for only partially listening to Liara, too distracted by rekindling their relationship, to have gathered all the details about what her and EDI had planned.

 

“EDI,” Shepard barks out.

 

“Yes, Commander?”

 

“You and Liara are to stay on the ship, tell everyone else to ready-up in the cargo bay.”

 

She’s met with silence and she takes the moment to collect herself.

 

“Understood, Commander.”

 

“Does Liara,” Shepard whispers. Her anger at the situation doesn’t mask the knowledge that Liara’s hurt by her dismissal, but she can’t take System Alliance measures with two non-alliance crew and for now this is the best she can do as a small punishment until they head to the Citadel. She doesn't need the entire ground crew, but she’s being careful. Leaving Liara on the ship also helps calm the fear she constantly endures whenever Liara is on the field with her. Their time is short and she does not want to lose her on the surface of a damn Cerberus and Reaper infested planet.

 

“Yes,” EDI replies. Shepard clenches her fist, knowing EDI relayed the information to Liara and again Shepard feels a pang of regret. She should be speaking to Liara personally, but she can’t bring herself to shake the anger. She’s going to need it for what’s ahead as it is.

 

The elevator doors open and she pushes aside her worry, letting the fury build as she prepares to take back what was stripped from the Krogans.

 

~*~*~

 

Samantha has stopped worrying so visibly about the ground crew after watching them leave and return safely after the fiftieth something mission(most of the time, she now can vividly recall the mad rush to the Citadel when Ashley was critically injured on Mars. She’s glad she didn’t know any of them at the time). Of course, once Liara and EDI started messing with her head, it all went downhill from there. Any time Ashley goes with Shepard, which is far too often for Sam, she ends up finding some excuse to hover near the docking bay doors. She’s positive the new stress she feels whenever Ashley is ground side is the opposite of what Chakwas wants.

 

After a few tense Cerberus-related missions, that she feels personally responsible for, Sam has taken to hovering around Joker. Initially he thinks it’s because she wants to bask in his magnificent humor and wit, soon replaced with suspicion that she was there for EDI’s body. As the last few missions have gone by and EDI has been staying on the ship, Joker has to reassess his reasoning.

 

“Which one?” he nearly jumps in surprise along with Sam when he abruptly disturbs the silence.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

She stops mid-pace and stands still to stare at him, something he's grateful for, she's been pacing and fidgeting with almost everything around him for the past twenty or so minutes. “Well, at first I thought you just couldn’t stay away from my dazzling personality, but I’ve heard some things and your eyes trail after certain female members of our wonderful crew more than just a passing glance. It’s not as obvious as most people, you know, but I make an art of subtly checking women out and you are getting worse as the days go by. How is that even possible, by the way—”

 

“Do you have a point?” Sam grounds out, her face rapidly heating up.

 

“You’ve been hovering behind me for the past two weeks and EDI has been here the last three days, so you’re either stuck on Shepard or Liara. Or maybe both. I bet my hat you’ve see Vaenia more than once,” her blush only deepens and Joker looks far too smug about it. She certainly feels like punching him now, "and the only other options are Tali and the LC slash newest human spectre and,” he pauses, and Sam isn’t sure she wants to hear what he has to say next, “Hmm, actually I’m not entirely sure about your luck on that last one, at least you’re human. That should boost your chances a little bit.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” she growls out. Hell, that was the last thing she intended to do, and she isn’t sure if she iss defending Ashley or defending her own chances, but there is something about the way he says it that has her ready to fight.

 

“Guess that answers the question,” he chuckles not bothering to explain.

 

Instead of snapping back Sam groans and unceremoniously flops down in the seat to Joker’s left, “I can’t believe I let them get to me.” Sam rubs her forehead, trying in vain to stop the oncoming headache.

 

“The Commander?”

 

“Partially, but I’m sure EDI and Liara are more of the culprits here. They just…” Sam trails off, not sure she wants to explain what is going on. It might help, she thinks. She hasn’t been comfortable talking to anyone about it, really. However it’s Joker and he’s the last person she is going to tell about this situation.

 

EDI’s voice cuts through her musings, “The Commander will be docking shortly, please inform Doctor Chakwas to ready the med-bay.”

 

Ignoring the terror that erupts in her chest, and before Joker can say anything, Sam speaks out, “Anything serious?”

 

“— I don’t need to go to the med-bay, I’m fine! it’s just a flesh wound!” The exasperated but amused tone of Ashley comes across the comms loud and clear and Sam nearly falls on her face in her haste to remove herself from the co-pilot seat. 

 

“I’m just gonna— go. I’m gonna go.”

 

Joker smirks and waves her away, “Maybe she’ll need some one on one healing time!” He yells after her retreating form, cackling as she stumbles and flips him off before disappearing.


	5. Don't Call Me Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara confesses and Ashley gets protective and doesn't even know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder I fudge up the timeline hardcore for things that happen in ME3 because I can. Also, adding random things. For the same reason.

Sam has the foresight to take care of any lingering issues before they leave the planet’s surface, her last agenda being to let her personal program decode the latest Cerberus intel. Once it's ready, with a confirmation from EDI, Sam makes her way to the third deck.

 

As she exits the elevator she’s nearly slammed back into it from an unexpected body check. There’s a steadying hand on her back, the only thing that stops her from falling on her ass. She hears a barely audible apology from Commander Shepard before the doors close and the clearly disgruntled woman is no longer in sight.

 

“I take it things didn’t go so well?” Sam questions coming face to face with Ashley. _O_ _ f course it’s Ashley. Not that I’ll ever complain, really.  _

 

“It went as well as most missions do with the Commander,” Ashley gives her a wry grin.

 

“I am sorry, Samantha,” Sam jumps at the light touch to her arm, Liara standing nearly as close as Ashley, “Shep— the Commander— we lost a very dear friend of ours and she is not taking it well.”

 

Oh,” Sam is too focused on getting to make sure Ashleyisn’t seriously injured that she didn’t realize there were people missing. Still, she feels that there is more to it than that.

 

Liara shifts again, her nervous agitation becoming more and more obvious that Ashley feels pressed to point it out, “I haven’t seen you this nervous since you were trying to make a move on Shepard, what’s up?”

 

Liara gives a strained smile and turns her attention to Sam, “May I have a moment of your time, Samantha? In private?”

 

“Okay?” her voice squeaks and she blushes when Ashley laughs.

 

“I am afraid the XO’s quarters are not entirely suitable for this conversation, would it be alright if we used your space, Ashley?”

 

Ashley gives Liara a questioning look, but agrees, “Sure, Chakwas said I need to eat something with all the crap she gave me anyway,” she waves her heavily bandaged arms, giving a wince from the pain and momentary stupidity and leaves the two of them alone.

 

Without a word Liara turns and heads for the Starboard Observation deck and Sam follows. She stays near the door, still able to see Liara’s reflection. She can see the worry and the continued fidgeting. The silence is unnerving and it does little to stop Sam’s mind from wandering to the recurring dream she has by the very window Liara is next to.

 

“--  am so sorry for the trouble it has caused you.”

 

“Her face flushes and Sam stutters, “Wh- what?”

 

Liara mistakes Sam’s hesitation for anger and tries to alleviate what she thinks is fury, “I did not think it would affect you as much as it has! I was just trying to... what did EDI call it?” She mumbles to herself, rubbing at her forehead.

 

“Practical joke,” EDI supplies, both Liara and Sam jump at the intrusion.  


 

“Yes, practical joke, thank you, EDI.”

 

Liara continues, too wrapped up in her own apology to notice Sam’s floundering, “I was attempting to draw your attention away from Shepard and it was suggested to me that humans sometimes play jokes on one another. I suppose I may have been far too curious at how it worked and did not account for ...side effects.”

 

_ This whole time… _ Sam had a small inkling that it was a joke but she put that aside when it continued and both Liara and EDI didn't seem like the type of people to go that far. And while she had learned that Liara was far more than she presented, Sam hadn’t thought her capable of something so… cruel.  Honestly, Sam would have blown it off had it been something that maybe lasted a day or two, but they waited over two weeks to tell her?  _  Two weeks? _ There could have been far more reaching consequences than she thinks Liara and EDI are even aware of.

 

Now angry and tired, Sam can’t even begin to form a cognitive reply, her eyes wide and her fists clench in effort to not strike out.

 

Liara takes a hesitant step forward, panic fluttering about her face, unsure of how to approach but Sam stops her with a shake of her head.

 

“No,” she breathes out harshly. Sam has to blink back tears she wasn't aware were forming. 

 

Liara takes a small step back, she can practically feel the anger and hurt radiating from Sam. 

 

“No, you, you just…” Sam’s breath hitches as she tries to stop herself from crying. “I mean, I thought— I knew it had to be some kind of j-joke,” she let’s out a watery laugh, “I  _ knew _ it, but then it kept going and I thought maybe— just get out.” She says it so suddenly that Liara takes another step back in surprise.

 

“I—”

 

“ _ Get out! _ ”

 

Liara tries to reach forward, but Sam knocks her hand aside, “Go!”

 

Liara brings her hand to her chest and nods, slowly making her way out, unable to stop herself from colliding with Ashley, “Oh— I, I am so sorry, Ashley,” she chokes out, apologizing for more than just running into her.

 

Ashley watches in confusion as Liara quickly disappears around the corner and turns to Sam, her confusion quickly giving way to worry as she sees the tears. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Ashley  closes the distance between them, Sam too surprised to resist as Ashley pulls them both towards the couch.

 

Sam moves to wipe her tears, but Ashley stops her frantic movement and reaches out to wipe a newly formed tear herself, “Hey, it’s okay to cry every now and then, you know?” She whispers, flipping over one of Sam’s hands and starts to gently rub at the wrist, and Sam can’t help but stay focused on it, finding it oddly calming.

 

She chokes out a laugh, “I’m sure you take your own advice.”

 

“Hardly,” Ashley chuckles, “I just happen to have three sisters and a kick-ass mom, so I know a few things.”

 

Sam laughs ruefully, “The last thing I want is to be compared to your sisters,” she stands, squeezing Ashley’s hand before pulling away and wrapping her arms around herself in some form of comfort, “but thanks, I guess.” she says as she turns to walk away.

 

She can’t handle the comforting from Ashley right now, no matter how bad she craves it. She feels too stupid for falling for something so obvious and then actually giving into it, that she just doesn't want this to be the reason she wants more than Ashley’s physical company. 

 

“Hey, wait!” Ashley’s quick enough that she manages to put herself between the door and Sam, but still leaving enough room to not make Sam feel trapped. 

 

Sam feels like crying again because trying to not like Ashley even more is almost impossible now. She only wishes she could start over, and not have her feelings grow because of some stupid ruse and gross invasion of privacy.

 

There’s a shift in Ashley and her expression changes to that overprotective thing that Sam is sure a constant look to anyone who does bad against Ash’s family and Sam has trouble catching her breath when Ashley stares at her intently.

 

“Want me to kick her ass for you?”

 

It’s the last thing she expects and yet knows it’s such an Ashley thing to say and Samantha can't help but burst out laughing, missing the relief it gives Ashley.

 

“I mean, I can try, or maybe I'll pick on Shepard. Pretty sure Liara would kick my ass and then some with those biotics,” Ashley continues to ramble.

 

Sam takes a hesitant step forward, “Maybe just make sure her and EDI stay away from me for a few days?” she suggests lightly, effectively cutting off Ashley’s ramble with a tentative hug. “Thank you,” she whispers and brushes her lips over Ashley’s cheek. Sam quickly turns and barely stops herself from sprinting down the hall, a brief surge of adrenaline rushing through her at her boldness.

 

“Uh, yeah... sure I can do that,” Ashley utters, wondering what she just dragged herself into and perhaps she should make a call home for some much needed advice.

 

~*~*~

 

Sam doesn’t notice it right away and she can only guess that it’s been happening since they had the talk, but she cannot stop the quickness of her heart or the flush on her face as she watches Ashley step in front of Liara, stopping her from coming anywhere near her person for the ‘nth time.

 

“It’s like a rerun of the first Normandy,” a filtered voice states, startling Sam.

 

“What do you mean?” she turns to face Tali, someone she hasn't had much interaction with, and as she thinks about it, it’s very strange because she’s sure Tali and her could have a fun geeky conversation about the Normandy specs.

 

Tali gestures towards the arguing Liara and Ashley, “Ash being unfriendly towards Liara. Happened almost the moment Liara walked onto the ship.”

 

Sam is hesitant to point out why exactly Ashley is arguing with Liara, but realizes this is her chance to get some answers about what Ashley was like before, “Joker mentioned something about Ashley not liking aliens.”

 

Tali snorts, and Sam can’t deny she might suddenly be a little smitten with her. Sometimes she can’t decide if she’s lucky for being on a ship full of women whom she can throw a plethora of positive adjectives at or if the universe just hates her that much. 

 

“Ashley doesn’t like anyone who has never had to struggle for anything in their life.”

 

Sam blinks at Tali for a few moments, shocked. From all the ships rumors, she has believed that Ashley was a little Xenophobic. An unfortunate reality but she’d never truly witnessed it. Sam begins to ask for more details, but she needn't bother as Tali starts to speak again.

 

“I think the only human, other than Shepard, to be nice to me was Ashley.” Sam can’t see her face, but she knows Tali is smiling. “With all the stereotypes flying around about quarians, no one really wanted to talk to me, except maybe Engineer Adams. Ash was never openly hostile towards me, not like she was around Liara.” Tali shrugs and slurps at one of her protein tubes, “the second we found out Liara was a Matriarch’s daughter Ash had it in her head that Liara probably didn’t know how to do anything for herself,” Tali pauses, waving for Ashley to join them, her chat with Liara finished. Sam is mildly reluctant for the interruption, the opportunity to know more about Ashley put on hold.

 

As of late, Sam’s emotions were a contradictory mess, lately she's given a kind of peace when Ashley's around, however the nerves still eat away at her when she gets near at the same time.

 

They watch as Ashley pauses near the mess and starts to make something. Moments later Sam’s heart flutters as Ashley sets a cup of tea in front of her and follows it with a smile, “thirsty?” She isn’t, but there’s no way in hell she’ll tell Ashley that.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Ashley nods and squeezes Sam’s shoulder, not removing it until she finishes her conversation with Tali, whose head is tilted the entire time. Sam hasn’t a clue what they’re discussing, she takes a sip of the tea and is surprised by the quality of it. One more thing she’ll have to ask Ashley about later when her mind isn’t preoccupied with the feel of Ashley’s hand resting on her shoulder and resisting the urge to reach up and take the hand in her own.

 

Whether from the lack of knowledge regarding quarians or for the simple fact that more often than not, the only thing visible was the glow of their eyes, Sam is unable to tell that Tali is watching her during her conversation with Ashley. Which is for the best, as Tali can'tt stop herself from grinning. Through her haze Sam misses Liara walk by once more, Ashley stiffens and glares until Liara meekly grabs and assortment of rations before scurrying back to her quarters.

 

So focused on the presence of Ashley, Sam nearly jumps out of her chair as EDI announces for Ashley and Liara to join Shepard in the War Room.

 

Giving Sam’s shoulder one last pat, Ashley bids them farewell and grudgingly nods to Liara who slowly follows behind her to the elevator.

 

It doesn’t take long for Sam to notice Tali is definitely staring at her, “What?”

 

Tali folds her hands on the table, “I’m going to let the Liara thing slide, but not the Ashley thing.”

 

“What Ashley thing?” Is her automatic reply. She wonders if maybe Tali could be that friend she needs to vent to.

 

“Do you want a list, because I can give you a list.”

 

If Tali already knows, it makes it easier, right? Sam groans, “Am I really that obvious?”

 

“You looked so disappointed when I stopped talking about her and you have no idea what’s happened in the last half hour.” Tali grins at Sam’s widening eyes, “you don’t even know a half hour has gone by! Hah! I don’t need Liara after all, I’m pretty sure I know what happened a few weeks ago!”

 

Sam groans again, it’s one thing to maybe think about confiding in someone, but it’s another when they make it seem like she’s been so obvious this whole time. Who was she kidding, Joker already knows, there’s no doubt it’s gotten around the ship by now.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Ashley’s too dense to notice.”

 

Sam blinks, unsure of how Tali even knows what she was thinking.

 

“Don’t fret, quarians have to be really good at reading body language. Now,” Tali leans forward, rubbing her hands together in delight, “do you have time to hear about SR-1 Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams?”

 

She doesn’t even care if she doesn’t have time, she’s going to make the time.

 

Tali gets a few good stories in before they’re interrupted by Shepard.

 

She needs Tali, and EDI supplies moments later that there’s new readings from her latest kind-of-secret tracking on Cerberus that needs her immediate attention.

 

With a promise to spend more time together on the Citadel talking about Ashley, Tali leaves. 

 

Their soon-to-be leave on the Citadel gets turned into chaos after stopping by Bekenstein first and Ashley gets carted away to the Citadel, Udina needing her for some hush hush Spectre business.

 

Sam was also starting to really hate this trend she has going for catching problems a second too late because if her current readings are correct, and they usually are, there is some crazy fucked up shit going down at the Citadel.

 

Sam has no doubt they’re going to be in the middle of all of it and she really wishes she has some way to figure out where Ashley is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU HAVEN'T(I don't care if it was posted forever ago) GO READ THIS MAGNIFICENT THING BY FLYINGFLESHEATER BECAUSE IT IS MY FAVORITE AND I'VE READ IT TEN TIMES AND I AM NOT EXAGGERATING LIKE THESE CAPS. http://archiveofourown.org/works/974649 (and also all the other ME things and everything o_o)


	6. Accidental Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash has a chat with her sister and Sam kind of gets revenge without knowing it.

Ashley rolls her shoulders as she waits for her call to her sister to connect. Udina had ordered her back to the Citadel for a Spectre matter and while Ashley calls total bullshit, she is too new to this to renegade on some stupid orders. She just prefers to be on Bekenstein kicking some Cerberus ass with Shepard than talk politics with someone she thinks is a misguided fool.

 

Being so close to the Citadel at least meant she could make a call to Sarah in real time instead of leaving messages like she usually does. She would prefer to wait until shore leave to talk to her sister in person but seeing as how that keeps getting pushed back, now seems like as good a time as any. Her sister just needs to _actually pick up the damn call._

 

She chews on the bottom of her lip in worry. There is so much going on and it all seems connected one way or another, but she is having a difficult time sorting it all out without all the pieces. The distance between her and Shepard still persists and it hurts, but she also knows she is the one who needs to bridge the gap. Shepard has tried multiple times and Ashley just goes and shoves it right back in her face. The first time she was too hurt and now she’s just too damn stubborn and scared, thinking she's just going to let Shepard down again.

 

Hell, no one even really knew _why_ Ashley had been so hurt when Shepard arrived on Horizon. It worked well that they all believed her hatred for Cerberus was the breaking point. She really wants to talk it out with someone, but she is too ashamed to speak to any of her current friends who all have forgiven Shepard easily. None of them could understand why she still held on to her anger.

 

Fresh faces and new friends appeared and Ashley had thought that maybe she could divulge her secrets to one of them. The clumsy, adorable, rambling communications specialist was high on that list. Only any time Ashley tried to speak to her, Sam would find some excuse to vacate her presence. The few times she didn’t leave, Ashley would notice how tense and distant she became.

 

Originally she thought that maybe Sam had heard about her abandonment of Shepard. It wasn’t until she overheard Joker and Tali teasing Sam about her previous attraction to EDI and Sam’s current love interest that Ashley started to think it was something else entirely. Something she could deal with a lot easier than partially true rumors about her previous times on the ship.

 

Which is exactly why she needs her sister to answer the damn call because this was driving her nuts. Ashley almost wishes she called Lynn instead of Sarah. However, Lynn isn’t fully aware of the situation, unlike Sarah who found out the real truth behind Shepard’s death and Ashley’s feelings when she found Ashley, drunk as a skunk, on her porch.

 

“Did Shepard fuck up again and do something to hurt Liara?”

 

Ashley jerks in surprise, cursing as her sore shoulder smacks into the paneling beside her, “Shit,” she hisses, glaring at her sister’s fuzzy features. “I told you that was a long time ago,” Ashley says, annoyed that she can feel her face turning red.

 

She’s met with silence and Ashley can feel the warm sting of tears in her eyes, “Goddamn it!”

 

“She’ll understand, Ashley.”

 

“I don’t even understand it!” Ashley croaks out, furiously rubbing at her face. She didn’t realize how much distance she had been putting between herself and her personal problems until now when just looking at her sister makes her shatter into pieces.

 

“Sweetie, you tried to take care of your best friend’s girl after she died. Someone you were reluctantly crushing on. It’s only natural for anger to be your first reaction when that friend comes back from the dead. You were there to see Liara fall apart and you focused on that instead of your own feelings. Tell her that.” There’s a pause and then a sigh, “have you ever thought about how Shepard feels? Everyone mourned her for two years and she comes back thinking only weeks have passed. Comes back to find that everyone she loves and trusts has left and the only people staying around are…” her voice cuts out, but Ashley doesn't need to hear the rest to know what Sarah is getting at. “—sure she also knows about your little crush on her and her girlfriend.”

 

“I can’t believe I ever told you that,” Ashley grumbles, unable to keep the smile off her face. Relief washes over her and she leans back, Sarah always made things simple and clear. Things Ashley knew but couldn’t straighten out in her head, “I’ll... I’ll talk to her when we meet up on the Citadel.”

 

“Wow, don’t sound so excited about it,” Sarah teases.

 

"Yes, I’m so excited that I need to tell my commanding officer and best friend that the reason I abandoned her was because I was too upset that she hurt Liara and I couldn’t be there for her the way I wanted.”

 

“I knew you’d understand! Don’t forget to mention the three—”

 

“I will never talk to you again if you continue that sentence!” Ashley cries out, covering the screen as if that could get her sister to stop. She breathes a sigh of relief once Sarah laughs and drops that part of their conversation.

 

They chat a few minutes longer, mostly about Sarah’s life, when silence settles over them again.

 

Ashley still doesn’t quite know how to bring up what’s been happening, especially since she’s just now started to piece it together.

 

“Who’s the lucky girl this time?” Leave it to Sarah to bring it up for her.

 

“How do you know it’s a girl?”

 

“Because guys are easy for you and you have no issues with them saying yes. Girls somehow confuse the hell out of you and you forget which way is up.” She can hear laughter despite the quality of their call degrading rapidly. She’s going to have to report it once they dock.

 

“Whatever,” Ashley mumbles, hating how right her sister is.

 

“Well?”

 

Ashley sighs and leans back, closing her eyes in embarrassment, “don’t laugh.”

 

“Oh sweetie, you know that’s not possible.”

 

Ashley grins, knowing it was futile to ask, but she had to try, “Ok, just promise not to call me an idiot too often.”

 

“Holy shit,” Sarah breathes through her guffaws, “she’s been crushing on you for a while and you didn’t even notice!? Am I right? How did you finally figure it out!?”

 

“Sarah! I— well it’s not like—”

 

“Tell me _everything._ ”

 

Ashley starts to think back on all the times she ran into Sam, all the times that Sam would just happen to be in the cargo bay while Ashley was working out. The flustered actions that Ash just took for nerves... and then their latest conversation replays itself.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Figured it out, did you?”

 

“Oh my god, I am an idiot. Oh my god!” Ashley leans forward, staring at Sarah in horror, “she was crying, something that had to do with Liara and EDI and she—”

 

“Wait, Liara made someone cry?”

 

Ashley continues, ignoring Sarah’s question, “— didn’t want to be compared to my sisters and I didn’t get it! Oh my god!”

 

“Wait, seriously? I knew that soldier stuff would get you hit one too many times in the head.”

 

Sarah sits through a few more of Ashley’s repeated shocked words before she leans forward, eager, “I think the real question is, is she cute?”

 

“God, yes!” Ashley blurts out, “shit…”

 

Sarah blinks in shock, “Well, damn. It's _never_ that easy to get you to admit that.”

 

“I— she’s just…” Ashley pulls at her hair, “she’s got this accent and I’ve overheard her ramble about things I don’t even understand and she has the corniest jokes sometimes. Shepard mentioned something about her enjoying strategy games too…”

 

“Ashley?” Her sister’s voice cuts in and out just before the screen turns to static.

 

“Sarah?” she hits the monitor a few times in frustration and heads for the pilot. The view that greets her has her quickly putting on the few armor pieces she’d taken off. She doesn’t bother to check if the connection to Sarah has stabilized.The comms to the Citadel are eerily quiet.

 

Ashley punches the wall beside her and tells the pilot to land anywhere, she watches in anger as a dozen or more Cerberus ships take over the main landing area.

 

~*~*~

 

Sam is on her way to being blindly drunk. Enough so that she starts to blame herself for not catching the Bekenstein Cerberus ops as a distraction for their almost successful takeover of the Citadel. If she were sober she might not be blaming herself as much as she is right now, but this asari bartender keeps plying her with alcohol, and she is going to jump to as many conclusions as one possibly can.

 

Like this bartender _obviously_ wants her, why else would her drinks keep coming, even before she finishes the one in her hand?

 

She snorts, her own thoughts amusing her, but she fails to remember the drink she just took and chokes on half of it as the other half shoots out of her nose.

 

“Attractive, “ the bartender muses, “might want to stop accepting the drinks, babe.”

 

“Why do you keep giving them to me?” She manages to get out. She’s attempting to flirt, however the alcohol is all over her now and she can hardly hold herself steady with her own arms.

 

“Just a game I like to play. See how many drinks a human can put away before falling on their ass. “

 

Sam tries to glare but her hand slips and the only thing stopping her from smacking her face on the bar is the light flare of biotics, “What in the bloody hell is in this?”

 

The asari laughs and reaches out to steady Sam, “Just a little asari alcohol to give it a kick.”

 

“I’d like to give you a lick.”

 

Sam’s luck certainly flew out a window a long ago as the asari lets her go and laughs, Sam’s face finally meets the gleaming top of the bar, “fuck! Ow, shit! Why... “ she whines, the tears forming quickly and she’s horrified to know they’re not at all because she smacked her face.

 

“Fuck the goddess, you’ve got a lot goin’ on don’t ya, babe?” She lifts Sam’s chin to check her face and Sam quickly switches from pain to a goofy grin.

 

“Do this often?” she giggles. Somewhere deep down she’s horrified but she’s too drunk to care.

 

The asari is staring, and it’s kind of freaking Sam out, “You’re one of Shepard’s.”

 

“I thought the whole asari with other asari was a bad thing?” Sam says, her mind jumping to only one reason why this asari would say something like that.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“I’m not Shepard’s. Liara is Shepard’s so you totally tried to hit on Liara at one point, right? Oh, I don’t know how to feel about this,” Sam slurs, the world around her is spinning a lot more than it should.

 

“Athame’s tits, Liara's going to flay me alive, “ the asari mutters, shoving a glass of water into Sam’s hands.

 

“How do you even know Li-- Lara… that poo-head anyway?” Sam stares at the glass before lifting it up and smelling it. She nods to herself that there isn’t anything weird in it and drinks.

 

“The what? If you must know, I’m her father.”

 

Sam blinks several times, but says nothing.

 

“I somehow expected a different reaction, “ Aethyta murmurs, handing Sam a third glass of water.

 

Sam isn’t able to process what was just said so she glances around to see if anyone else can break it down for her, she spots Liara, Ashley, and Shepard a deck away at the tables, none of them looking very happy.

 

“That," Sam points out, or tries to. Aethyta snorts as she watches Sam’s arm just sort of flop around in the air before landing with a dull thud on the counter, “All that, over there, all their fault. Liara’s fault.”

 

“Usually I ignore the drunken sob stories of my customers but since yours seems to be about my kid, I need you to sober up so you can tell me what your issue is with her,” Aethyta grumbles, wishing she hadn’t given Sam so many drinks.

 

“She doesn’t like to share!” Sam shouts, “So what if I was totally checking Shepard out, how can you not!? “ Sam flails her arms and Aethyta has to reach over to stop her from falling backwards. “It was just some harmless flirting, totally harmless,” Sam hiccups and squint her eyes; the spinning is getting a lot worse. “Now I’m half in… In love with that damn woman and It’s her fault!” Sam ends on her declaration with slamming her glass down and watching helplessly as it slips out of her hands and rolls off the counter. It shatters when it hits the ground, “Oops.”

 

“Messing with you humans was bound to bite me in the ass one day, “ Aethyta sighs, forcing one of her absent-minded coworkers to clean up the mess. Sam continues to ramble about what Liara and an EDI had done and with further prodding, Aethyta is able to breathe a sigh of relief that Sam is talking about the soldier Ashley and not Shepard or Liara.

 

As proud as she is for her daughter pulling of a stunt like this, Aethyta knows it went too far. She’s been keeping an eye on Liara and grins when she notices her kid continuing to glance their way over the last ten minutes.

 

Aethyta smirks at Sam and leans over, nearly cackling as Sam’s eyes stray from her face to the cleavage she’s purposely put on display, “ever meld with an asari before?”

 

“Uhh…” Sam has to force her head up in order to focus, but she is unaware of just how close Aethyta is. Her face is flush from more than just the alcohol, “No?” she squeaks.

 

Aethyta reaches forward, her eyes darting to the side to see Liara gaping at her, but also Shepard and the other human as well. The latter looking slightly dejected.

 

“Not so one-sided after all. “

 

“Hmm?” Sam mumbles, her eyes practically glued to the lips very close to her own.

 

“Come on kid, let’s get you a place to sleep this off. Something had to have survived the destruction the more idiotic of your species attempted.” Aethyta makes a show of slipping her arm around Sam and leans in close, as if she were whispering dirty things to the human who amazingly plays right into it by flushing the moment Aethyta gets closer. The floundering her kid is doing right now is something she wants to frame, Shepard’s shock is just an added bonus. Oh she’s going to pull some strings and get the footage from today to hold over their heads for a long time coming.

 

~*~*~

 

Out of the three of them, Liara guesses that she had the most sleep the previous night after Cerberus attacked the Citadel. It isn't saying much since she spent most of the night going over her Shadow Broker duties and comforting Shepard. She can only guess from Ashley's haggard appearance that she didn't get much sleep either, having stayed with her sister the night before instead of back on the Normandy.

 

When Liara had finally shut down for the night and gone to the captain's quarters it had surprised her to see Shepard lying on their bed, staring up at the ceiling. She felt ignorant then, realizing that while Cerberus nearly annihilating the Citadel was tragic, Shepard would have focused on the one thing that could have cost Shepard part of her sanity.

 

Liara had been there, watching silently as Shepard and Ashley faced one another, guns raised and ready to shoot. It had almost been a surprise to Liara when Ashley turned and shot Udina, nearly missing the relieved sag in Shepard's stance.

 

~*~*~

 

" _I really thought I was going to have to shoot her," Shepard's voice is hoarse from crying and Liara curses herself for not having arrived sooner._

 

" _You did not," Liara reminds her. She wants to say more, but knows Shepard needs to get it all out. It is how she functions, needing to vent out to someone before getting passed it. It was no wonder Ashley's first betrayal had left Shepard so shattered, she had been on a ship full of unknowns and Tali and Garrus had been the last ones Shepard grabbed and by then she had buried it all and focused on their suicide run to the collectors._

 

_Liara sighs, she has so much to make up for._

 

" _I would have, should have really," Shepard let out a rough laugh, "some friend I am."_

 

_Liara had crawled into bed at that point, gathering Shepard in her arms. Instead of protesting as she normally does, Shepard wrapps herself around Liara, hiding her face in Liara's neck._

 

_Liara can feel the hot sting of tears that roll down Shepard's cheeks. "I was trying to fix things and then I had to go and put a gun in her face."_

 

" _She did the same to you," Liara tests. It is difficult at times to say where Shepard's mind lay. More often than not she can easily take the logical road, but there were times where Shepard just needed to let out her frustrations no matter how ridiculous Liara thought they were._

 

_Shepard is silent, and Liara can see the muscles of her jaw working. She runs her hands through Shepard's hair, still fascinated by how soft it is after all this time._

 

_She can feel Shepard relax and Liara figures the hours she'd been working that Shepard had already tormented herself enough. There was a soft poking at her side that draws her out of her own thoughts. Liara looks down, "Yes?"_

 

_Shepard sighs, clearly not wanting to ask, "What happened with you and Ashley earlier this week? Did it have to do with the Sam thing?"_

 

_Liara closes her eyes in shame, "I—yes, I believe so."_

 

_Shepard lets out a tired sigh, "How much does she know?"_

 

" _I…" Liara paused to think, "I do not think she knows the details. Just that I…" she sighed again, her breath hitching momentarily. "Just that I hurt Sam somehow."_

 

_Shepard snorts, "I bet Sam just loved that over-protective sister thing Ash does."_

 

" _I was unaware you were keeping track of Samantha's feelings or that there were any involved," she says the last part as an afterthought, forgetting she isn't alone._

 

" _Liara, you can't suspend a carrot in front of a full rabbit without it wanting to eat it anyway."_

 

_Liara stares at Shepard, not understanding._

 

" _Darlin'" Liara smiles, sometimes Shepard fell into a strange accent when saying certain words. It is endearing, and still manages to confuse her with all the complexities of the human language. "She likes women and I'm sure you've noticed that Ashley is very nice to look at," Shepard rolls her eyes at Liara's look, "She can also be very helpful and nice and other things that would attract someone."_

 

" _Very descriptive," Liara teases._

 

" _Hush," Shepard lightly head-butts Liara's chin. "Does it make more sense?"_

 

" _Yes," Liara says soon after. "I suppose listening to Joker was not the smartest thing I have done."_

 

" _No, probably not."_

 

~*~*~

 

It hasn't occurred to her until now that Shepard hasn't fully forgiven her for the mess with Samantha and it's made more apparent as the three of them sit around a table in the Presidium, not speaking.

 

Liara had tried to nudge Shepard into saying something but her stubbornness had kicked in long ago and Liara knows she isn't going to be starting the conversation that needs to happen.

 

She is about to nudge Ashley when movement catches her eye.

 

She gapes in horror as she watches Sam lean over the bar counter-top to get closer to her father. "Oh by the Goddess, please tell me I am hallucinating."

 

Both Shepard and Ashley look towards the bar; Shepard struggles to choke back a laugh while Ashley looks bewildered, if not disgruntled as well.

 

Noticing, Shepard hisses, "That's Liara's dad."

 

"What!?" Ashley nearly shouts, her head switching back and forth trying to find some kind of similarity.

 

"What is she doing!?" Liara nearly shrieks, causing Shepard and Ashley to jump at the unexpected shout.

 

Liara jumps up but Shepard quickly stops her and holds her back as they all watched in horrified fascination as Aethyta leads a willing Sam towards the apartments.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Aethyta shakes her head at Sam’s pathetic state.

 

Sam is face down on the bed, snoring something fierce, half out of her clothes. Her shirt is tangled around her neck, one arm still in a sleeve, her pants almost made it to the floor but they’d gotten stuck on the shoes Sam had forgotten to take off. Aethyta didn’t even bother trying to help, she was too busy laughing at how hard Sam was trying to get them over her shoes.

 

Aethyta sighs to herself, annoyed at the soft spot quickly growing for this human, and turns Sam to her side so she doesn’t suffocate on the pillow. “Stupid kid, getting one over on my own kid should be apology enough for the way you’re going to feel when you wake up.”

 

Aethyta leaves after leaving a glass of water and pain killers next to Sam. When she finally makes it back to her bartending, an hour has gone by and Liara is sitting at the bar, Shepard and the other human no where in sight.

 

She lets the smug look on her face linger as Liara stares at her, “Hey, kid.”

 

Liara gapes at her and straightens her back, an impassive look falling on her features, “What do you think you are doing!?”

 

Aethyta pauses in grabbing a clean cloth, “I’d say I’m working, “ she states, knowing it will irritate Liara.

 

“That is not what I am talking about and you know it,” Liara hisses, leaning forward.

 

“Ah, saw that did you?” Aethyta continues her charade, smirking internally at this silly form of revenge the passed out human isn’t even aware of, “just another human curious about the depths of asari melding.” Aethyta’s voice lowers even further at the implication.

 

Liara’s expression turns horrified and Aethyta can’t hold back the laughter, “how did my kid turn out to be such a prude? I was sure Shepard would have kicked you out of that habit by now,” Aethyta leans forward, eyeing Liara as a parent would, “she is taking care of you, right?” she growls.

 

Liara blinks at the quick change of emotion and nods, “Of course she is! This is not about Shepard! This is about Samantha and you taking advantage—”

 

“Samantha, huh? Cute name.”

 

“You did not even know her name!?”

 

Aethyta shrugs and starts to wipe down the bar, normally she would have taken off by now, but they were pretty much the only place open after all the destruction from Cerberus’ failed take-over.

 

“Don’t need a person’s name when all you want is some good fuck—”

 

“No! Nono, just please, stop talking, for the love of the goddess,” Liara puts her head in her hands, clearly exasperated. “How did mother deal with you?”

 

Aethyta knows it isn’t said in anger but it still stings, “Your mother was far less of a stuck up than everyone thinks,” Aethyta grins.

 

Liara cuts her off, knowing where her father was going to take their discussion, “Stop! Goddess, you are impossible!”

 

“It’s the krogan in me.”

 

“You know that is not how it works.”

 

“So you’ve said, kid. Doesn’t mean you’re right.”

 

“Goddess, this is mortifying,” Liara mumbles.

 

“Isn’t it?” Aethyta says, giving Liara a disapproving stare and Liara briefly wonders how her life would have turned out had Aethyta been around the first hundred years.

 

It doesn't take long for her analytical mind to catch on to what her father is implying, “you know?” She sounds more upset than Aethyta would have guessed.

 

“Next time you want to fuck around with human customs, you better talk to the one you’re in love with.”

 

Liara nods and sighs, “It was all just a ruse then?” She lets out a relieved breath.

 

Aethyta smirks and says nothing.

 

“Dad!” Liara hisses, the horrified look on her face is one Aethyta will be laughing at for decades.


	7. Honey, The Children Are Fighting

For the eightieth time in a span of twenty minutes, Sam is seriously thinking of trying to borrow a spare suit from a quarian. She’s pretty certain the face-plate acts like sunglasses, and the ones she’s currently sporting are doing nothing to keep the artificial sun out of her eyes. She swears to never go to a bar with and asari serving drinks again. Especially if they happen to be related to Liara.

 

“They’re all so evil…” she mutters, unaware she’s voiced her thoughts.

 

Tali is in the middle of a riveting explanation of the warp coil when Sam speaks, she isn’t surprised it has nothing to do with the coil, but Tali is having fun prattling on about the Normandy tech anyway. She knows Sam can understand some of it, whenever she is paying attention.

 

It's clear that Sam had been heavily drinking the night before, but she is still managing to hold a conversation with Tali at least, until now, the first thing Tali doesn’t known the context of.

 

“Who?” She questions when Sam stares at her, but doesn’t continue.

 

“Asari. The rudest. One doesn’t know when to let a ‘joke’ go and the other gets all seductive and giving me weird drinks. Ugh,” Sam is doing a weird thing with her tongue and Tali watches in fascinated disgust, “my mouth tastes like ass and that’s after I brushed and gargle ten times. Six thousand credits have failed me!” she cries out and then quickly turns her head to look at Tali once more, slightly wincing at the fast movement, “do you think you can lend me a quarian helmet? They block out the sun, right?”

 

Sam slumps against the bench, missing how Tali tenses at the question. It was one of those times Tali couldn’t decide between hating or loving that humans can’t see her face because Sam obviously has no idea how treasured a quarian helmet is, “I think maybe I should teach you about quarians instead of tell you more about Ashley.”

 

“What?” Sam sits up so fast that she starts to see spots, “oh God,” she moans, slowly placing her head between her knees.

 

Tali watches in apprehension, unsure of what she should do with this mess of a human, “Uh, do you need me to take you to Chakwas?”

 

Sam waves her off, “No, no. I’m perfectly fine dying right here.” She catches the startled movement, “Not literally, just had way too much to drink last night and some not-so-random asari was feeling… playful.”

 

“But don’t you have a thing for Ashley?” Tali questions, clearly confused. She didn’t give any mind to Sam’s earlier ramblings but they were slowly starting to make sense.

 

“Just because of a passing infatuation, “ Tali crosses her arms and Sam swears she can see the girl glaring at her, “...a really really deep passing infatuation?” Tali tilts her head and Sam rubs at her face, “ugh fine whatever, just because I have stupidly strong feelings for that thick headed soldier doesn’t mean I can’t go and find…  relief in someone else.” Sam leans back slowly, her eyes are closed and she doesn't notice that she knocked the sunglasses askew when she rubbed at her face earlier. “Nothing even happened, it was—oh my God, that was Liara’s _father!”_

 

Tali doesn’t stop laughing the entire time Sam relays the story about the evening before.

 

~*~*~

 

Liara pauses briefly on the steps leading to where Sam and Tali are seated, the sudden burst of filtered guffaws startling her. She hesitates and gathers what little courage she can before slowly approaching.

 

Tali spots her first, her laughter turning into snickers, “Hey, Liara!” she says far louder than Liara thinks is necessary. She sees Sam flinch and she pauses, unsure if It’s because Tali announced her presence or if It’s because Sam looks incredibly ill.

 

Sam groans and sags against the bench, unable to muster up the energy to escape.

 

“Hello, Tali…" Liara hesitates, “Samantha.”

 

Tali bounces in her seat and quickly stands, “Keep an eye on her for me! I need to find some new parts for my suit!”

 

“No, wait!” Sam says weakly as Tali scampers off, “Shite!”

 

“I will leave you alone, if you wish,” Liara says quietly.

 

Sam groans, she’s pretty sure she should be the one making Liara feel guilty. However, Liara is standing there like a wounded puppy and Same can hardly stay mad at her, “no, it’s fine.” She watches out of the corner of her eye as Liara sits gingerly next to her and reaches out to fix the sunglasses on Sam’ face. “Thanks,” Sam mumbles, unable to stop the flush to her cheeks.

 

“I am truly sorry, “ Liara says earnestly. The tears are gathering again and Liara has to bring a hand to her chest, the horrible feeling coils in her anytime she thinks of the damage she has caused. The rift between herself and Ashley has been unexpected and it leaves lingering affects between her and Shepard as well. Had Liara known the trickle effect her actions caused she would have never followed through with this plan. She silently vows to never go to Joker again for advice and leave the ‘practical jokes’ to humans from now on. She’s going to do anything she can to fix this mess.

 

Her musings are cut short by a snort next to her, “Next time just blow someone up with biotics or something if they hit on Shepard. It has far less consequences.”

 

“Yes, that would be more direct,” Liara agrees, not really taking it to heart, but understanding what Sam is trying to do.

 

“What is it?” Sam finally says after they sit in silence and Liara’s continuous fidgeting.

 

Liara chews on her bottom lip as she picks at her pants, unable to look at Sam, “I— I was wondering if your condition has anything to do with the possible side effects of melding?”

 

Sam blinks in confusion until she remembers that Liara had a clear view of her father yesterday, “God no, I think your dad was trying to give me alcohol poisoning though,” she jokes.

 

“Oh, I see. Some humans have adverse reactions to asari melding, especially in the case of sexual pleasure. I wanted to make certain you were taking proper care of yourself if, that were the case. “

 

It’s hard for Sam to keep from laughing, Liara hasn’t looked at her once and seems to be having a hard time from keeping her face neutral.

 

Sam stills, her face red. She almost immediately cuts off Liara, to deny that anything happened, but there is a small voice begging for revenge and this is the perfect opportunity to do so. Liara’s father obviously hadn’t denied the accusations and Sam certainly isn’t going to let Liara off the hook just yet. “I’ll…  keep that in mind for next time, I guess.” She nearly chokes on her own spit at the look of horror that flashes across Liara’s face.

 

“That would be," Liara swallows thickly, “...a wise decision.”

 

They sit in silence, Sam too hungover to care about keeping a conversation going and Liara too mortified to speak, trying to force the images of what her father has possibly done to Samantha out of her head.

 

Sam is almost asleep when she hears Liara gasp beside her, “Hmm?”

 

There’s a smile on Liara’s face and Sam is confused when she sees the reasoning for it, “Uh is that… a good thing?”

 

Near the Presidium Lake is Ashley and Shepard. Shepard has Ashley bent over, one arm around her neck and the other fending off Ashley’s flailing arms, both of them shouting something Sam can’t make out from their distance. No one seems bothered by the situation, C-sec isn’t even glancing in their direction.

 

Ashley manages to get out of Shepard's grip for only a few seconds before she’s pulled back and Shepard has her arms underneath Ashley’s armpits and her hands locked behind Ashley’s neck, forcing Ashley’s head towards her chest. Sam can swear they are arguing and the smile on Liara’s face does not make sense.

 

“OK, what the hell is happening right now? “

 

~*~*~

 

Ashley leans against the railing, staring out across the lake, lost in thought. There were too many things that happened yesterday and she isn’t handling them as well as she’d like. Her patience is running thin and it makes processing them an issue.

 

The Sam thing iss the only one she can even consider easy at this point. She at least knows Sam is interested and the short talk she had with Sarah convinced her to see it through. Whether it lead to something romantic or not, she isn’t going to let the galaxies pending doom stop her from enjoying what is left of it. She did have a brief moment, of what she likes to call an Adult Tantrum (getting drunk and dancing horribly at an equally terrible club), after seeing Sam go off with Liara’s father. She knows she has no right to comment either way, Sam can do as she pleases, but that doesn’t stop Ashley from being grumpy about it.

 

It figures, though, she finally starts to notice someone’s attraction for her and they move on. She really hopes it’s just a fling and not permanent.

 

Ashley shifts her weight, sighing. Yesterday was such a mess.

 

She has no doubt Shepard would have shot her. She would have done the same in Shepard’s place. She has no doubt that everyone thinks she would have shot Shepard too, had she not convinced her of Udina’s treachery. Had it been anyone other than Shepard, they would have been right. Just the thought of being able to pull the trigger has her breath catch and tears burn at her eyes.

 

After everything, she knows she never would have done it, even if Shepard had been wrong, she would have stood there and taken a bullet without shooting one of her own.

 

She only wishes that was the end of it, the trust she openly gave afterwards would have magically resolved their issues. Only she fears it did the opposite, Shepard won’t even look at her now.

 

She might have to talk to Liara about it.

 

Which stirs up even more issues and Ashley wants to scream in frustration. Liara had obviously done something to upset Sam a great deal, but no one will fill her in. She has a hard time believing Liara would do something to hurt a friend in the Normandy family to make them as upset as Sam is.

 

“This is such a mess, “ she grumbles, hitting the railing with the butt of her hand.

 

“I think the Citadel has taken enough damage, don’t you?”

 

“Just hoping that maybe they’ll replace this with something nicer looking," Ashley replies, trying to cover up how much Shepard startles her.

 

Shepard smirks and Ashley knows it doesn't work. Sighing, Ashley looks towards the lake again, chewing nervously on the inside of her cheek as Shepard leans her back against the railing, arms crossed and staring directly at Ashley.

 

Ashley fidgets as Shepard continues to stare. It’s minutes before either of them move, Ashley turns to face Shepard who drops her arms and takes a small step towards Ashley.

 

“I’m sorry,” they both say.

 

“What?” Ashley frowns, “for what?”

 

“Putting a gun in your face for starters,” Ashley starts to blow it off, but the look in Shepard’s eyes stops the blase comment from surfacing.

 

“It was necessary,” she sighs and adds, “I did the same thing.”

 

“Bullshit,” Shepard spats, “you had no intention of ever pulling that trigger. I know you better than that.”

 

Ashley looks away in frustration, almost grateful that Shepard still knows her even after all this time. The only reason she even brought the gun up was pure reflex.

 

“So now what?” she asks, nearly begging for Shepard to trust her again.

 

“You apologize to me for believing I would purposely hurt Liara and give Cerberus anything and I apologize for being an assholes about your feelings.”

 

Ashley bristles, she appreciates the bluntness, she really does, but it still stings, “What are you talking about?”

 

Shepard grins and it does not sit well with Ashley, “Your feelings that ping-ponged like crazy for Liara and me.”

 

Ashley chokes on her words and Shepard starts to giggle at her bumbling, “How— but— that’s not—”

 

“You’re so red right now, oh man, I can’t breath,” Shepard wheezes through her laughter.

 

Ashley continues to flail on the inside, this isn’t at all how she pictured this going, but she isn’t going to complain. She growls and punches Shepard in the arm, “Shut up!”

 

Shepard snorts, taking a moment to catch her breath, and then punches Ashley back.

 

“Damn it, Skipper! “ Ashley cries out, her shoulder still sore from before.

 

“Whoops,” Shepard crackles, still unable to completely control herself.

 

Growling, Ashley shoves Shepard, catching her off-guard, “Asshole!”

 

“Hey!” Shepard shouts and shoves her back, it doesn’t take long before the two of them are trying to overpower the other.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Liara turns to Sam, her grin faltering, but returning to it’s original brilliance and Sam curses her fate again for being surrounded by all these pretty people, “Everything is just fine.”

 

Sam turns to the view again, this time she can’t tell who has the upper-hand, Shepard and Ashley are struggling to stay upright as they try to overpower the other in their grappling contest. “Is this some kind of brutish military thing because that looks more like fighting than mending. “

 

“They have been avoiding each other for a long time now, barely speaking,” Liara pauses, trying to choose her words carefully, “I am sorry, I do not know how much is acceptable for me to say. I do not wish…” Something catches her attention and Liara grabs Sam, ignoring the squawk of protest and painful moan, and leads her to Shepard and Ashley. “I do not wish to widen the rift I have opened with Ashley,” she finishes.

 

Sam stares as Liara let's go of her and throws an arm out towards Ashley, who freezes in place, and the other glows as Shepard begins to float in the air.

 

“Damn it, Liara!” Shepard shouts as she tries to right herself, “Shut up, Ash!” she yells at Ashley who is laughing at her.

 

“Having a little trouble,” Ashley taunts. Liara’s hold on her is already wearing off.

 

Shepard falls to the ground and Ashley’s face scrunches in annoyance, knowing what’s to come.

 

Shepard dusts herself off and stares at Ashley, arms crossed.

 

Ashley let's out a sigh and mutters under her breath.

 

“Say that again, I couldn’t hear you.”

 

“Having a little trouble, ma’am?”

 

“That’s better,” Shepard grins as Ashley is released.

 

“So glad you approve,” she mutters, rolling her sore shoulder. She really needs to stop aggravating it.

 

Her breath leaves her quickly as Shepard’s body impacts with hers, for a moment she thinks it’s starting all over again, but there’s a soft ‘ _Thanks for trusting me.’_ in her ear that makes her go slack as she returns the hug. “ _I wish that I had spoken only of it all.”***_

 

Shepard pulls back, a smirk in place, but it takes her a moment to respond, “Is it weird that I actually know that one.”

 

Ashley’s eyes widen as she nods, “I think hell just froze over because of it.”

 

“I am so lost,” Sam all but whines, unknowingly interrupting Shepard’s plan to reignite her and Ashley’s scuffle. Sam flops onto the grass, not caring what it looks like. Whatever was given to her yesterday gave her the worst hangover, she plans to never drink that again. “Whenever you guys are done being crazy children, please carry me back to the Normandy, thanks.” She misses the playful shoving Shepard starts with Ashley at her comment.

 

Sam yelps as a blue light surrounds her and she can feel herself being lifted into the air. “No, no! What, oh god put me down,” she shrieks, mostly in surprise. She glares daggers at Shepard who nearly falls over from laughing. Ashley has the decency to turn away but Sam can see her shoulders shaking. She lets out another shriek as she starts moving and Sam huffs as Ashley can no longer hide her laughter, “I hate all of you!”

 

Liara is smiling, but it is weak and tentative and Sam shakes her head, smiling slightly to put Liara at ease. It works, a little too well, Liara manages to raise one of her tattooed brows and makes Sam spin briefly before pulling her along towards the elevator.

 

Her screech breaks whatever restraint Ashley and Shepard has left and they both have tears streaming down their faces as they struggle to breath through their laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Stanza LXIII - Stanzas in Mediation - by Gertrude Stein


	8. Things Were Going So Well

Sam honestly hadn’t been trying this time. She came down to the shuttle bay with a list of requests from Shepard and was in need of Cortez’s input. 

 

She can hear the grunting and muffled thuds through the lift’s doors before they open.

 

As she steps out Sam blinks in surprise at the sight in front of her. The punching bag Vega normally keeps at his work station had been moved to the center of the shuttle bay, right where Ashley is currently glaring at it as she beats the crap out of it.

 

Sam begins to wonder if she iss dreaming again, the meddling of EDI and Tali made sure Sam is very aware that Ashley generally keeps to the same routine while aboard the Normandy.

 

The nudge at her side, however, confirmed otherwise.

 

“You’re starting to drool.”

 

Sam almost shrieks in surprise at the intrusion and turns, “I—” she sighs at the amused face of Cortez. She doesn’t even bother denying it anymore, not with the number of times he has caught her down here with flimsy excuses.

 

“The funny thing is, I think you came down here for something actually work related.” He holds out his hand and Sam hands over the work orders she had thrown together, her eyes briefly glancing at Ashley. Steve laughs at her wandering eyes, “Come one, let’s get this done quickly so you can go stumble your way through flirting.”

 

Too caught up in their own banter, Sam faux-raging at Steve’s comment, they miss Ashley hanging tiredly onto the sandbag, her eyes following Sam as the two retreat to the consoles.

 

~*~*~

 

Ashley realizes she burned herself out more than she intended when she first came down here to let our her frustrations, and her shoulder is yelling at her for it. “Shit,” she curses and rolls it, trying to loosen it. It fails to do anything but cause her more pain so she opts for falling onto her back and staring at the ceiling.

 

Most of her frustration from being sidelined from the last few missions were expelled, but it still didn’t feel like enough. Shepard hadn’t wanted their mending friendship to be jostled in any way, so when the names Jack, Miranda, and Jacob came up in talks with Sam, Shepard immediately took Garrus and Tali. It doesn’t take long for Ashley to realize they were part of the Cerberus crap from before; Ashley understands Shepard’s hesitation, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

 

Chakwas telling Shepard Ashley’s shoulder still isn’t a hundred percent is’t helping her case to be able to watch Shepard’s six no matter the circumstance.

 

Ashley moves in an attempt to get up but finds herself wincing in pain instead. She must have been lying there for longer than she thought, her muscles now stiff and unaccommodating. She grunts as she reaches around blindly for the water bottle she knows is nearby.

 

“Looking for something,” an accented voice calls out from above her.

 

She opens her eyes and she can just make out the distorted view of Sam through the water bottle being held in front of her face. Ashley reaches out and instead of the bottle, a hand grabs her forearm and tugs her into a seated position.

 

Sam grunts as she plops herself down next to Ashley. “Your muscles make you heavier than you look,” she says as she hands over the bottle.

 

Ashley flicks some of the water at Sam in response, “What every girl wants to hear.”

 

“Hell, I would. Having brains isn’t a hot commodity anymore. Gotta give the ladies something to look at.”

 

Ashley gives her a skeptical look, “I really don’t see you having a hard time in the looks department.”

 

Sam tries to fight off a blush, “Yes, well, when I open my mouth and start talking about quantum entanglement communications and the like, they tend to start running, in spite of this marvelous accent.”

 

Ashley shrugs, tossing the now empty bottle into Vega’s work-space, smirking when a shout of displeasure reaches her ears, “Their loss.”

 

Sam blinks at Ashley, unable to come up with a witty reply. Somehow she manages just fine with Shepard, mild flirting flowing from both of them. Even with the threat of Liara she still manages to do so. Now it’s more of a joke than anything serious, so she finds it even easier than before. But here Ashley is, sweaty and grinning in satisfaction at annoying Vega and all Sam wants to know is how she looks after a long night— _no, no I am not going there._ _I don’t need another restless night._ She shakes her head, trying to convince herself it will dispel the thoughts.

 

Ashley misinterprets the action and reaches out and lightly hits Sam’s shoulder, “I’m serious.”

 

Sam snorts, punching Ashley back, “Ow! Jesus,” she shakes her hand, “bloody hard muscles.” She sees Ashley cringe, “Oh no, you can’t tell me that hurt.”

 

The corner of Ashley’s lips turn up and she shakes her head, “Normally, no.” She rolls her shoulder, wincing again, “it’s still a little tight.”

 

Sam gasps, “Oh! I’m so sorry! I forgot that you hurt it! And then I go and punch you, of course I punched you, why wouldn’t I do something so totally crazy to someone who could probably hang me up on the punching bag without any trouble—” Sam’s words continue at a rapid pace.

 

Ashley chokes on a laugh, “Sam. Sam, stop!” She rolls her eyes as Sam continues to prattle on, “Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor!” Ashley finally barks out.

 

Sam immediately stops talking, her body stiffens and her eyes go wide and Ashley dares not to try and decipher the look in them.

 

“You really need a shorter title.”

 

There’s an awkward silence, the sound of both Cortez and Vega tinkering unable to disrupt it. The steady rhythm of boots on the metal floor coming towards them a minute later is the only thing that does. “This is going to take longer than I thought,” Steve says, handing only part of the data back to Sam. “Why don’t you take a break and show the LC here that new chess set of yours.”

 

Sam blinks owlishly at Steve’s outstretched hand, slowly grabbing it and is hauled to her feet, “Maybe make use of that access you have to Shepard’s room, yeah?” He jokes, coughing out a laugh at the heat rushing to her face.

 

Ashley stands up and grins, “Shepard told me you play chess.” She crosses her arms, “Actually, I’m pretty sure she compared you to one of her old drill sergeant's at the academy.”

 

“Just because Shepard has absolutely no patience or any kind of strategy, what so ever, does not make me some kind of tyrant of a commanding officer!” Sam pouts, hands on her hips.

 

Ashley and Steve laugh, “Well, why don’t I find out for myself then?” Ashley states, grabbing the long-forgotten towel hanging from the bag and leads Sam towards the elevators.

 

“Don’t have too much fun!” Steve shouts after them, laughing at the the look of panic Sam tosses over her shoulder.

 

“Cortez! How much longer is that gonna take you? I need someone to watch me work out and the ladies just left!”

 

“I finished this five minutes after Sam handed it to me, and I really don’t think either or them are interested,” Steve mutters to himself. “If that’s all you're offering me, this will take me all night!”

 

~*~*~

 

Sam is grateful for the shoulder injury Ashley has, if only because it gives her something to talk about instead of standing awkwardly in the elevator.

 

“You know, Shepard’s shower has hot water.”

 

“What?” Ashley asks, confused at Sam’s statement.

 

Sam blushes, realizing how odd she sounds without any context, “I’m sure you could take a shower with actual hot water, so maybe your shoulder will feel better.”

 

Ashley is silent for a few moments, “Figures Shepard hoards all the hot water.”

 

“Right? I’m so jealous. I would give anything to have a hot-tub around here. We could actually put one in the cargo bay— oh! Or even one of the rooms on the third deck! This ship has enough processing power to have one little bitty tub filled with hot water. Maybe I can sneak it in with all the other requests I give to Shepard. She hardly looks through them as it is—” Sam looks over at Ashley who just stares at her, amused. “Sorry… I just really like hot water.”

 

Ashley snickers, “Apparently.”

 

~*~*~

 

 

“Noooo, this was the worst idea, please help,” Sam whispers to herself as a loud, satisfied groan is heard a few feet away.

 

“This is amazing,” Ashley’s voice rings out over the sound of running water and Sam wants to cry in frustration. “I’m starting to think that you have the best ideas.”

 

“I’m starting to think I have really, really, horrible ideas,” Sam mutters to herself before responding, “I always have great ideas! Just ask EDI!”

 

“I don’t recall giving you that kind of praise,” EDI’s voice filters through the cabin, Ashley’s snort of laughter quickly follows.

 

“You are a terrible wingman, EDI.”

 

“I can regale tales of the time before you knew I was an AI,” EDI’s voice moves and a hologram of her orbed self pops up in front of Sam.

 

Sam flushes instantly and stutters, “N— no. That’s… can we pretend those things never happened?”

 

“Unfortunately I do not have a delete button.” EDI deadpans. Sam sits in horrified silence before EDI follows up, “That was a joke.”

 

“I don’t think I like your jokes.”

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

“Check Mate.”

 

“What? How did— we are going to go to the Citadel one day and go to a shooting range,” Ashley grudgingly replies after losing for the fourth time in a row.

 

“Aw, Liara look, our little marine can’t handle losing.” Shepard and Liara walk in, both looking more worn out than usual.

 

Sam snorts, “Commander, the Lieutenant Commander at least has some sense of self preservation and lasts longer than five minutes,” Ashley snorts along with Liara’s laughter.

 

Shepard grumbles and shoos them out, “Yeah, yeah go continue your little date elsewhere, politics suck and I’m tired.”

 

Sam blushes furiously as she tucks away the small chess set and brushes her clothes in embarrassment, failing to see the red hue across Ashley’s face.

 

“Getting too old for Command, Ma’am?” Ashley jokes, trying to cover up her embarrassment.

 

“Ugh just get out, I’m too tired to even make fun of you,” Shepard’s voice is barely heard through the covers her face is buried in, not caring that either of them are still there.

 

Liara gives Sam an encouraging smile as she walks them to the elevator and Sam barely resists the urge to stick out her tongue.

 

“Please ignore her,” Liara says softly.

 

Ashley shrugs, “Hard to do that when her face is plastered all over the place!” She yells just loudly enough for Shepard to hear, who gives a grunt and lazily lifts her arm just enough for Ashley to see her flipping her off before the elevator doors close.

 

Sam hugs the chessboard, unsure of how to continue. It was so easy earlier, the conversation was minuscule as Ashley had actually been trying to concentrate and Sam was too distracted by watching her that had Ashley been above average, Sam is positive she would have lost at least one round.

 

They make their way to the observation deck, Ashley stopping to grab a couple drinks before finally settling in the room. Ashley opens up the viewing window and Sam barely holds back a low groan from the brief flash of the dream she had not long ago.  _ That window is haunting me. _

 

Sam sits down in the middle of the bench, her nerves firing off in every direction. She vaguely notices Ashley running her fingers along the spine of several books before pulling one out and sits at the edge of the curved bench so she can easily face Sam.

 

Samantha barely holds down the urge to bounce her leg, just now realizing that she has never actually spent any time alone with Ashley. There was someone always around and Sam isn’t prepared for how nerve wracking this is.  She curses herself for having set down her chess set the moment they walked in, really wanting something to hold in front of her for some kind of comfort. She really wishes this place had pillows. 

 

Now that she thinks about it, where the hell does Ashley even sleep? She knows the schematics pretty well and there wasn’t anything extra in any of the rooms.

 

Ashley’s chuckle pulls her out of her thoughts and she blushes, realizing she’s said the last bit of her thoughts out loud.

 

Ashley motions towards the back wall with her head, “There’s actually a cot in the wall. The Commander figured I deserved my own little place, I guess.” Ashley’s smile is warm and grateful and Sam finds herself wanting to trace those lips with her fingertips.  _ Oh this is bad. _

 

Sam honestly can’t say what they talk about after that. She only knows that somehow the conversation flows and there is laughter and incredible flubbing on her end that only makes Ashley more endearing with how she responds to Sam’s horrible attempts at flirting.

 

It is much later when there is a comfortable lull in their conversation that Sam realizes Ashley is still holding onto the book she grabbed when they first walked in.  She hasn’t paid much attention to it, but now she can see the cover as Ashley is slowly turning it over and over in her hands.

 

Ashley speaks before Sam can ask what it is, “Is it too much to ask what happened between you, Liara, and EDI?” Ashley chews on her bottom lip, “I understand if you don’t want to tell me, but I really do want to make sure you aren’t just letting it go or something.” Ashley finishes sheepishly, not sure she should go on.

 

Sam takes a deep breath, refusing to look at Ashley now. Her hands are nervously playing with the glass she has been nursing since they came in. She let’s her breath out slowly, staring out into the vastness of space, pretending she can’t see Ashley’s reflection in the window.

 

Sam can see Ashley start to move and knows that she is trying to move closer, trying to be more of a comfort. But Sam knows she’ll tell Ashley everything and she doesn’t want her too close when the truth comes out. She closes her eyes, trying to ignore the furrow of Ashley’s brow and the intense look of concern. She’s glad she isn’t looking at Ashley directly, certain she will end up an incoherent sobbing mess otherwise.

 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Sam prays she won’t start crying until after she is done and preferably very, very far away.

 

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me. I was just hoping I could help somehow,” Ashley whispers, amazed at the emotions that play across Sam’s face.

 

Sam’s lips lift into an ironic smile, “That’s how this all started,” it’s so low Ashley barely catches the words.

 

Before Ashley can ask again, Sam goes into a detailed account of how everything started weeks ago and the reason for her strange behavior. She stares at her glass the entire time, twisting and picking at it, like it's the only thing in the room.

 

When she falls silent, Sam finally looks up with tears in her eyes, embarrassment and regret floods through her. Part of her is glad that it’s all out now, the violation of privacy has been sitting in the back of her mind constantly. She can’t stop the tears from falling though.

 

Ashley can barely process any of what Sam says. There is too much too feel and her body settles on shock.

 

It isn’t until she hears the sound of the door swishing open does she shake herself from it. Ashley watches in silence as Sam takes off, unable to focus on any other feeling than the rage and hurt that is starting to overwhelm her.

 

“You had better turn off any recording device in here from now on until the foreseeable future. Is that clear?” Ashley grinds out through her clenched teeth as she slaps her hand on the wall, a panel lighting up and a compartment opens up to reveal it stocked with guns. Another gift from Shepard.

 

“Yes, Lieutenant Commander.”

 

EDI’s voice has a noticeable strain to it, Ashley refuses to acknowledge that it’s even possible, and starts to disassemble and clean all the guns in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. All the Apologies

The lack of interaction with Ashley is more difficult than Sam imagined. It creeps up on her slowly, her day starts out how it normally does, but by mid-day she can tell something is missing. Enough so that even Diana Allers mentions it.

 

“Hey, where’s your poetry-loving muscle?”

 

“My what?”

 

The smirk on Allers’ face makes Sam nervous, “LC Williams? You know, the over-protective hottie that graces our presence, especially yours, on a daily basis?”

 

Sam blinks slowly as she opens her mouth to respond, because of course Allers knows, only to snap it shut in surprise as realization hits her, “I— I don’t know.”

 

“Is that so?” Allers looks calculating and not nearly as surprised as Sam thinks she should be, “Hm, interesting,” she says before walking away.

 

She’s angry after that, a similar anger to when this all started. She’s angry at herself but she’s directing it at Liara and EDI all over again. 

 

As another day passes and she grows sad, knowing at this point she can’t blame them and blames herself for not telling Ashley sooner.

 

She wants to be selfish, to spend as much time as she can without any prior event to muddy their time together. Ashley’s presence fills her with a kind of warmth she hasn’t felt in such a long time. It is such an escape for Sam from their currently reality that she realizes she needs it more than anything. She begrudgingly admits that while unconventionally and inappropriate as it was, EDI and Liara’s initial reasoning has proven accurate.

 

The distraction is exactly what she needs to keep her head above water.

 

Seeing Ashley is a breath of fresh air, a vision that calms her mind from all the hectic shit she keeps finding and discovering from all the chaos that surrounds them.

 

She watches as Ashley stops in the middle of the walkway, looking around at anyone but her and then turns around and heads back the same way she came. 

 

It hurts.

 

It hurts more than she thought it would. Their brief interaction those few nights ago lifted her spirits and she started imagining all sorts of possibilities, only for her own honesty to shatter them hours later.

 

She can hear the war room doors whoosh open and she can’t help but take a brief glance towards them, her feelings conflict with relief and sadness that it’s only Shepard who steps out of them. She must have missed everyone leave.

 

Sam goes back to work, methodically inputting data, confident that EDI will catch something if she misses it. She’s desperate for a break from the crew, but with how the Reaper and Cerberus situations are escalating she knows it isn’t possible. 

 

She notices the Commander walk up to the terminal, giving her a message status update without looking up, continuing to input data she has recently found from the repeating turian code.

 

It takes a few minutes for Sam to realize Shepard is staring at her and her breath catches when she finally looks over and the wave of tears she thought long gone threaten to overflow. Shepard looks guilty... and worried.

 

“I’m sorry,” Shepard says, hesitant a she reaches out and squeezes Sam’s shoulder when she doesn’t move away.

 

Sam’s hands clench around the data-pad she’s holding, stemming her immediate reaction of wanting to bury her face in Shepard’s shoulder and bawl her eyes out. 

 

Shepard notices the movement and motions for Sam to follow. Seeing the hesitation, Shepard says, “It’s going to be almost a week before we can stop somewhere safe. I don’t want you falling apart in the middle of an attack.” Shepard winces at how insensitive she sounds.

 

Sam almost laughs at how awkward Shepard is being. A stab of pain shoots through her, her thoughts turning to Ashley who is a lot better at this kind of thing. She follows Shepard quickly, the tears falling seconds after she turns away from the CIC.

 

Sam feels like a child; hiding behind Shepard’s broad shoulders whenever someone walks by, her hand stretched out, holding the bottom of Shepard’s shirt.  She almost stops herself, but she needs the contact and it’s enough until they get to wherever Shepard is taking them.

 

She hears Shepard’s sharp intake of breath at the tug on her shirt, and Sam can barely hold it together as Shepard nods. The second they walk into the elevator Shepard turns and holds her arms open and Sam launches herself into them, sobbing.

 

Sam starts laughing through her tears moments later as she realizes at one point she would have given anything to be in Shepard’s arms.

 

“I’m sorry for all this,” Shepard whispers and Sam’s shocked to see her eyes shining with un-shed tears.

 

“It’s not your f—”

 

“It is!” Shepard insists. “I knew it was happening. Or at least had an idea of what they were doing, but I was too caught up in this council and summit bullshit that I didn’t care to nip the problem. I didn’t think it would come to anything. So yes, as your Commanding Officer, it is entirely my fault that it got so out of hand, and as your friend, I am so sorry.”

 

Before she can think of what she’s doing, Sam leans up and gives Shepard a light peck on the lips, “Thank you,” she whispers, a strange relief rushes through her that she really does mean it.

 

Flustered, Shepard gapes at her before her body sags in relief, she lifts a hand to her forehead and leans back against the wall, “This is such a mess.” She rubs her face and groans, leading Sam to her room. “I’m going to let you stay here for a few hours. Have EDI transfer up any data you might need to my terminal.” Sam looks at her in confusion and Shepard flushes, “Uh, Ashley’s currently discussing things with Liara and EDI right now, so I figure it would be best to not be around when they’re done.”

 

Sam nods, grateful for the insight, “Yes, she’s been avoiding me lately and I’d rather not watch her purposely stay out of my way.”

 

The hurt in her voice is unmistakable and Shepard vows to make sure this shit is taken care of because she knows it is her fault it went this far. She hopes she can catch Ashley after she verbally kicks Liara and EDI’s asses to talk to her about all of this. She knows Ashley has no reason to like Sam, but she hopes the reason for avoiding the girl isn’t going to make everything even more stressful.

 

“I’ll let you know when I need my room back,” Shepard says before disappearing out to the elevator.

 

Sam decides to sit on Shepard’s couch, it feels like this has been her only break in three days and despite her best intentions to get more work done, she finds herself drifting off to sleep.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Shepard paces the width of the war table as Liara and EDI shift around nervously while Ashley stands off to the side, stone-faced and vibrating with anger.

 

Three days ago EDI had shown up late into the night, shifting nervously. Her physical presence alone had alerted Shepard into wakefulness.

 

If she hadn’t been so tired she would have thrown them all into the War Room that same night, but she could barely keep her eyes open and from experience, she knew that Ashley was going to need more time alone.

 

It took her three days to trust that Ashley had cooled down just enough to not destroy the two on sight.

 

“The two of you,” Shepard motions to EDI and Liara, “are going to stay here and listen to whatever Lieutenant Commander Williams has to say.” They nod and Shepard continues, “Once she’s done you’re going to thank her and respond with a ‘yes ma’am’. Is that clear?”

 

“Yes, Commander,” they say in unison.

 

“If something like this ever happens again…” she trails off, almost wishing there will be a next time because that meant they survived all this shit. She doesn’t need to come up with a threat, because both of them look mortified.

 

As Shepard starts to leave, Ashley stops her, “Commander, may I have a word once we’re done here?”

 

Shepard pauses and nods, glad her back is too them so they can’t see the grimace cross her face. She is aware of the Commander persona she is sporting right now, but also aware of the disservice she has given Ashley about the entire situation.

 

Once the door shuts, Ashley can barely resist the urge to pace. She is angry, rightfully so, but she is also hurt. A part of her feels like it’s what she deserves for all the shit she put Shepard through. Had she been too hopeful that it was all in the past?

 

Ashley spent the past three days taking her anger out on the punching bag. Often enough that it now needs to be replaced. She spent her nights barely resisting the urge to drown her pain and hurt in alcohol. On top of it all, she has no idea how to respond to Sam’s flirting and she can’t help but wonder if the other day was actually an impromptu date.

 

She hopes it was, it was perfect. As perfect as she can imagine a date being on a ship could be. She had been so close to sharing something she enjoyed, but rarely told anyone about (not that it mattered everyone seemed to know anyway). She is more than ready to let Sam look at one of her favorite poetry books. It still sits in her back pocket and she’s been trying to get the courage to give it to Sam, however whenever she see’s Sam the uncertainty and awkward feelings about the current situation overpower her resolve. It then turns to anger at her so called friends for possibly ruining the one thing she started to look forward to throughout this whole fucking Reaper bullshit.

 

“I am truly sorry, Ashley. I had not—” Liara speeks and it startles Ashley enough that she responds by slamming her fists on the table in front of her.

 

She almost grins as Liara and EDI flinch.

 

“Shut up!” she hisses. The anger resurfaces and she is having difficulties in controlling it. “You know what, I’m not even mad that you did this shit without my permission. Am I even the only one you had pictures of?” Their downcast eyes give Ashley her answer. “Of course I’m not,” she hits the table again, “What the hell were you thinking!? What if it were someone else? What if was some other member of the crew? You know what, that doesn’t even matter. You purposely messed around with someone’s feelings! In the middle of a goddamn galactic war!

 

“What was this? Some kind of payback for how I treated Shepard? I don’t even understand why you would use someone else like that! Why—!” Ashley finishes with a yell of frustration, weakly hitting her fists in the table again, and her shoulders slump, “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry for you to finally believe me?”

 

Liara gasps, tears streaming down her face. Ashley’s voice cracks and Liara can tell she’s on the verge of tears and it kills her, “No, Ashley, no.” Liara barely gets out through her own tears. She rushes around the table, hesitantly placing a hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “This was not, this did not have anything to do with you. In a way this is not even EDI’s fault, she just did as I asked.”

 

“I appreciate what you are trying to do, Doctor T’Soni, however, it is unnecessary. I am just as guilty.”

 

Liara shakes her head and continues, “I was—” Liara hesitates, “I was jealous.” Ashley is confused and Liara sighs in shame.

 

“I suppose now that I look back on it, it was ridiculous for me to react in such a way. There are times when my actual age makes itself known,” she takes both of Ashley’s hands in her own, breathing a small sigh of relief when Ashley doesn't pull away. “I saw a lot of myself in Samantha. I know that Shepard and Samantha had not been on the ship together long before Mars, but I could already tell Samantha was attracted to Shepard. Instead of knowing that it would not come to anything,” Liara bites her lip, “I was afraid. I see how ridiculous it is now, but I had not spoken to Shepard in six months and I was afraid,” she repeats, unable to voice the rest of her feelings.

 

Liara swallows the lump in her throat, “Then I spoke to Joker,” she smiles at Ashley’s snort, “Yes, that was my second mistake. I asked him what to do and he suggested a ‘prank’ one that would draw her attention elsewhere. I had originally set it up to help Samantha ‘relax’ I had no intention of letting it get any further.”

 

“That’s so fucked up, Liara.”

 

“Yes, I am aware of that now.”

 

Ashley let’s go of Liara’s hands and rubs at her eyes,  _ this is exhausting.  _ If she hadn’t dealt with Shepard and her crew before, she would have been surprised at this random ass drama in between the looming threat of the galaxy, “Can’t you just use your biotics next time or something?”

 

Liara chuckles, “Samantha suggested the same thing,” Liara slowly wraps her arms around Ashley and is relieved that Ashley responds in kind.

 

Ashley sighs and leans her forehead on Liara’s shoulder, “I hate being mad at you two.” She whispers, hoping Liara knows she’s not talking about EDI.

 

“It does seem to be something we are really good at, though,” Liara says ruefully, running a comforting hand through Ashley’s hair. She is used to doing it for Shepard and she’s unable to help herself now, as she notices the slight difference in texture. “I am sorry for everything we put you through. Not just lately, but before. I know that was hard on you and I did take your personal feelings for granted.”

 

Ashley groans, “Why do you both have to bring up old feelings.” Ashley gives a slight squeeze as she steps away, “I would appreciate if both of you,” she addresses EDI this time, “were scarce the next few days. Maybe apologize to Sam. I need to fix this before my chance is gone for good.”

 

“Yes, of course. Are we—” Liara hesitates, “are we ok?”

 

“We will be.” Ashley indicates they can go, Liara walks out but EDI stays behind.

 

“I do regret my influence in this and have erased most of the footage that we acquired during this incident. I would also like to request that perhaps it is not necessary to end this conversation with what Commander Shepard has dictated?”

 

Ashley blinks, having forgotten that Shepard set a couple demands, “Don’t bother, EDI. Maybe if I were still angry, but I’m just tired and I still need to speak with Shepard.”

 

“I understand. Thank you, Ma’am.” EDI smiles and Ashley rolls her eyes.

 

“Stupid AI,” Ashley watches as Liara and EDI take their turn at the security scanner.

 

She groans, wishing the room had chairs. She was so angry the last few days and it was wearing her down. All Ashley wants now is to curl up and sleep until they land somewhere. However, Shepard was due back any second and she also needs to find Sam and apologize for avoiding her.

 

Ashley takes a seat on one of the many crates they have sitting around the area. She takes out her poetry book from her back pocket and turns it over multiple times, wondering if it was enough to show Sam that she is interested.

 

“Hey.”

 

Ashley looks up and can’t contain her grin at the sight of Shepard’s downcast eyes and nervous movement, “Hey, Skipper.”

 

Shepard sits down next to Ashley, still not looking at her, “I’m sorry I let this happen.” She sighs and closes her eyes, resting her head on the crates behind them.

 

Ashley figures Shepard is just as tired as she is, if not more so. Her earlier insecurities come rushing back and she can’t help but voice them, wanting to know for certain that the Cerberus shit was behind them, “I might have deserved some of it.”

 

Shepard shakes her head, “No. At the time I might have thought it, but no. There was no reason for me to let this continue as long as it did.” Shepard glances over at her finally, but looks at the floor just as quick. There’s a frown on her face and Ashley wants to know what’s wrong.

 

“We’re both too emotionally exhausted to be rational about this, so what’s actually bothering you?”

 

“Traynor.”

 

Ashley stiffens, the strength of the urge to protect Sam is overwhelming and she breaths in deeply, trying to loosen her muscles, “What about her?”

 

“I know you had your words with Liara and EDI and I know it wasn’t exactly pleasant. Well, for Liara at any rate. EDI wasn’t exactly the focus as her involvement wasn’t as high and was probably more out of curiosity than jealousy.”

 

“You were listening?”

 

Shepard shrugs sheepishly, “Not for long, I escorted Traynor to my room when I left. I figured it would be better for her to get out of there before you were finished.”

 

Ashley slumps and rubs at her face in frustration, “I feel so stupid. I know I’ve been avoiding her for dumb reasons, but I can’t help it. I was so mad at Liara and when I realized that Sam was an unwillingly party in all this, I just felt awkward.”

 

“So are you interested or…?” Shepard grins and knocks into her shoulder and Ashley flinches on reflex only to realize it doesn’t bother her anymore.

 

“Well…” Ashley shrugs helplessly and draws attention to the book in her hand. “I had wanted to let her borrow this, but then she told me what happened and I got angry instead.”

 

Shepard gasps dramatically, “You’re going to let her borrow your most precious item ever?”

 

“Ugh, don’t be ridiculous,” Ashley shoves Shepard and cackles when Shepard nearly tumbles into the crates next to them.

 

They struggle a few minutes, pushing each other back and forth. Ashley knows for certain Shepard isn’t even trying and she yelps in surprise when Shepard’s arms disappear quickly enough that Ashley falls into her.

 

It was the second time in as many weeks that Shepard hugs her. She doesn’t fight it, sighing in content, relishing the warmth of her best friend. Burying her face in Shepard’s shoulder, she’s unable to stop the tears of relief, “I missed you,” she whispers.

 

“Missed you too, Ash.” Shepard gives Ashley a squeeze before pulling back and grins, “How ‘bout we go get you a girlfriend, huh?”

 

“So glad you approve,” Ashley says sarcastically, slapping away at Shepard’s hands as she tries to wipe away the remnants of Ashley’s tears.

 

“I approve of her a lot more than Vega, that’s for sure.”

 

“Vega? What’s he got to do with this?”

 

Shepard shrugs, “Nothing really, just a feeling.”

 

“Uh-huh, whatever you say.”

 

Shepard shoots her a look.

 

“Ugh, whatever you say, ma’am.”

 

Shepard rubs her hands together, “So glad we’re in agreement! Now then, let’s go woo Samantha Traynor.”

 

“Why do you look like you’re five seconds from throwing me over your shoulder and delivering me to Sam?”

 

Shepard has the decency to look sheepish, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

“Mhmm…” Ashley sighs and starts to walk away, “Can you at least remember that you have your own brainiac girlfriend?”

 

“Aw, I thought we could share,” Shepard practically giggles and Ashley swears some part of Shepard is serious.

 

Groaning, Ashley walks away faster, briefly forgetting the security would slow her retreat, “I hate you!”

 

“I love you, too!” Shepard shouts, letting Ashley go. She sags back onto the crates in relief.

 

At least something was starting to look up.


	10. Wow, progress.

As it turns out, the wooing of Samantha Traynor is failing spectacularly.

 

It wasn’t that they aren’t trying, Shepard is more into it than Ashley feels comfortable with. Going far enough that she sometimes let’s Shepard talk excitedly about what they can do and tunes her out in the process.

 

In all honesty she already has a plan. She just hasn’t grown the courage to execute it. Her first step is to apologize for the past week about her avoidance. She can clearly see it eating away at Sam as the days pass, but every time she tries to talk to her, she’s either interrupted or she chickens out.

 

Ashley also forced her way into the mission to help Tali kick some flashlight ass and knock around a few quarians. They were going to be on Rannoch in a few hours and Ashley was brimming with emotion for Tali.

 

Tali is her sister at heart and is blessed that Tali wants her with them when they land on her home planet.

 

The inevitable teasing that is sure to commence only makes her smile.

 

Despite Shepard’s wishes for the situation to be fixed quickly, there is more important things, but luckily she was present for a message from Admiral Anderson forcing Shepard to take time off and she knows this is her chance. Possibly her only chance.

 

She first has to make sure the idea is receptive.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

They are minutes away from shipping off to Rannoch, but Ashley makes sure to catch Sam beforehand. She shuffles up next to her and grins as Sam prattles off that Shepard has no messages, her focus on the task in front of her.

 

Ashley clears her throat and Sam’s eyes dart to Ashley and then back to her data pad. They widen and Sam nearly drops the pad in shock, “Ash— Ashley!”

 

“Hey.” Ashley chuckles.

 

“H— hi?” Sam squeaks.

 

Ashley chews on her lip, she is more nervous than she expected and she can barely remember what she wants to say, “I wanted to give you something,” Ashley pulls out her book of poems and fumbles it, nearly tossing it into Sam’s face.

 

It’s a stroke of luck that Sam manages to catch it, she stares at the cover in confusion. “Thanks?”

 

Ashley blushes, Sam has no idea what the book means to her, but she’s hopeful Sam will understand, “I wanted to share this with you last week,” she grimaces, the plan was to not bring up last week at all, “well, you, uh—”

 

“Williams, two minutes!” Shepard shouts from somewhere near the cockpit.

 

“Aye, Ma’am!” Ashley replies, glancing at Sam in apology, “I figured I’d return the favor of sharing something I enjoyed with you, that didn’t involve guns, so…” she chews on her lip again, glancing away so she misses Sam unable to take her eyes of her swelling lip.

 

Sam nearly jumps out of her skin when EDI announces for the ground team to book it to the cargo bay. She hugs the book to her chest, so happy she’s near tears, “Of course,” is all she manages before Ashley gives a nervous wave and high-tails it to the elevator.

 

Samantha recognizes the book almost immediately. She stares at the it curiously, it obviously meant more to Ashley than Sam realized and she’s hesitant to accept it.

 

Distracted by her thoughts, she fails to hear Liara walk up next to her, “Is that from Ashley?”

 

Sam nods, confused and surprised that Liara already knows.

 

Liara’s eyes twinkle, “Ashley has quite the fondness for poetry.”

 

Sam is aware, of course, it’s hard not to know with Tali telling Sam anything and everything she knows about the Lieutenant Commander.

 

Seeing that Sam is still troubled, Liara feels the urge to put her at ease, “I believe it is her way of letting you know that she is not mad at you.”

 

Sam clutches the book tighter, eyes wide and filling with wonder, “Really?”

 

Before Liara can respond, warning lights flash around the Normandy and they’re immediately put on guard. Sam rushes to her station and Liara moves to the other side to help, knowing her Shadow Broker network will be of no help out here.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Liara and Sam are still standing at the CIC console when the ground team is stopped by a giant reaper. They’re tense and Sam feels Liara grasp her arm and she’s grateful for the contact. The entire mission is chaos and Sam’s only recourse is the vitals flashing across her screen and Ashley’s are mostly positive.

 

Hearing the gasp beside her she focuses back on the action and realizes that Shepard is taking care of the Reaper by herself. Sam has enough time to curse under her breath before gently removing Liara’s arm and getting back to her station to help EDI calibrate the weapons system. She knows EDI is capable of handling it on her own, but they’ve learned to work with each other and EDI confessed that it takes some stress off her systems when things are as chaotic as they are now.

 

Thirty minutes pass before they land on Rannoch, the threat eliminated and Legion’s sacrifice granting them a new ally. Sam has yet to see Geth up close and she’s glad she is delegated to the ship, she has no intention of seeing one up close any time soon, the events of Horizon flashing through her memory, ally or not.

 

Twenty more minutes go by before the ground team starts returning to the ship. Liara already left for the war room for the debriefing that is to follow their return. Sam isn’t sure if she’s welcome to it. She should know by now, truly, but she’s also in the middle of more turian code and she doesn’t want to delay finding the source when she’s so close to it.

 

At least that’s what she’s been telling herself. In all honesty, she isn’t sure she can concentrate on anything if she joins them, her sole focus will be on Ashley and she does not want to give anyone that kind of teasing ammo.

 

Shepard steps out of the lift first, an elated but upset Tali follows with Ashley not far behind. It takes everything for Sam not to embrace her right there, it isn’t enough to stop her from taking a small step forward, one of her hands lift at the need to reach out and make sure Ashley is real. The incessant beeping from her terminal causes her to miss Ashley’s glance in her direction.

 

“Specialist Traynor,” EDI’s voice rings out as Sam takes in the information scrolling across her screen.

 

“I know,” Sam breaths out, she is so close to figuring out where the fake turian code is coming from, the physical reassurance that Ashley is still alive will have to wait.

 

Forty-five minutes later Sam finally pieces together what she can. She almost has the source, and while she is certain it’s another distraction she can’t very well let some ex-Cerberus scientists perish because of that.

 

She steps back from her terminal and turns, giving a shout as she bumps into someone, “Bloody fuck!”

 

“Well, that sounds a bit messy. You might have to find someone else to do that for you if you’re into that,” Ashley is standing before her and clears her throat. “Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”

 

Sam’s laugh is breathless, her heart still racing, “I happen to enjoy the fact that it was you that said something ridiculous this time.”

 

They stand there grinning stupidly at each other until Sam remembers that she has important information to pass along, “I uh,” she clears her throat, holding up the report she put together, “I need to show this to Shepard.”

 

“I will take care of that, Samantha.” EDI says while taking the pad out of her hand and heads towards the war room.

 

“Uh, ok, sure, “Sam blinks at her now empty hands. It takes her a moment to get her bearings and she faces Ashley, “So…” her words trail off as the urge to hug Ashley comes back to her in full force. “I’m going to hug you.”

 

Ashley scrunches her face in confusion, “Okay…?” The air whooshes out of her lungs at the force of Sam rushing into her and she can feel the shuddering breath being taken as she returns the hug.

 

“You’re safe,” Sam mumbles more to herself than Ashley, blushing when Ashley’s arms tighten around her. Sam’s grip tightens briefly before she pulls back, her face redder than Shepard’s hair, “That’s...that’s good.”

 

“Yeah, usually,” Ashley chuckles. “Page 72.”

 

“What?”

 

“Um, the book, the poem on page 72, it’s my favorite.” Ashley reaches back to rub her neck in embarrassment.

 

“Oh! I’ll have to read that one first, then.” Sam smiles, knowing she will end up memorizing it within the hour the moment she gets free time.

 

Shepard walks up to them, grinning at their bashfulness. She waits for one of them to acknowledge her, but when they don’t she clears her throat, “Specialist, good work on this.” Shepard waves the report EDI gave her in the air and looks at Ashley, “Williams,” Shepard hesitates and glances at Sam.

 

“I’ll just be over here, if you need anything else Commander.” Sam steps back, “Ashley.” She says softly with a smile and turns away and takes the few steps back to her station. It is more an illusion of privacy because she can still hear their hushed voices.

 

“We’ve got some downtime headed our way, orders from Anderson,” there’s a chuckle from Shepard when Ashley rolls her eyes, already aware, “I suggest taking advantage of it.”

 

Sam struggles with the silence that follows, trying her hardest not to turn around and make it obvious that she was listening. She hears a scuffle of boots and a grunt and can’t stop herself from turning around. Sam rolls her eyes as Shepard and Ashley are trying to wrestle again, “I swear you two can’t go anywhere.”

 

Ashley has the upper hand, but Sam’s attention catches her off-guard and she is trying to stumble through an apology when Shepard puts her in a headlock, “Good thing this is my ship then!” Shepard grins and pulls Ashley with her to the elevator, “There’s a message for you that you should probably take in my quarters.

 

Sam doesn’t hear the reply and doesn’t think anything of it. Ashley entrusted her with one of her favorite things and Sam is going to make sure she has the time to look into it. Like right now, because her program can do things for her and poems don’t take that long, right?

 

~*~*~

 

 

Days later Sam is rubbing her tired eyes. She can kind of understand why Ashley likes this stuff, but,  _ oh my god. _ It is boring. She can’t even understand half of it and more than once she wanted to chuck the book across the room in frustration when she couldn’t figure it out.

 

She is halfway through when she finally realizes she can’t wrap her mind around most of it because they are more abstract than straightforward. She can deal with numbers and code, but this was driving her nuts.

 

Her admiration for Ashley intensifies, however. Ashley comes off as a no-nonsense kind of soldier. Her faith was one thing, but from what she was learning (mostly from Tali) is the romanticism usually found in poetry was not anything Sam would have thought probable for Ashley to not only enjoy, but hold close to her as deeply as her faith.

 

She wonders if she’ll like it more if she can get Ashley to read it to her. She leans back, placing the book over her face, “I probably won’t hear a damn thing,”  _ I’ll be too distracted by her voice. _ Despite her slight reluctance and dislike for poetry, Sam is well on her way to memorizing a number of them, in hope of surprising Ashley with a few verses.

 

From all the markings and old folds in the book, she’s able to pick out what she thinks Ashley likes the most. Aside from the one Ashley told her about.

 

“You know, you don’t have to read the whole thing if you don’t like it,” Ashley’s voice filters through her thoughts and she quickly closes her eyes as the book is lifted from her face and the bright lights blind her momentarily.

 

The smile on Ashley’s face assures Sam that she isn’t the least bit disappointed. 

 

She grins stupidly, “I’ve actually read the whole thing, but you’re right,” she leans forward, resting her chin on the palm of her hand, “it’s really not my thing.” Ashley pockets the book and Sam notices how nervous she looks, “What is it?”

 

Ashley opens her mouth a few times, rubbing her face in frustration when she can’t get the words out, “I— we’re going to be at the Citadel for a few days and I was wondering if you’d like to uh, go out with me?”

 

Sam sits up in surprise, the likelihood of Ashley actually asking her out felt so far off and unattainable that she stares at Ashley open-mouthed.

 

“Psst, say yes!” Tali’s voice shakes Sam out of her stupor and Ashley is taken back by the intensity of Sam’s smile.

 

“Yes!” Sam shouts. “Uh I mean, yes of course. I’d love to.” Sam is brimming with energy and it’s taking every ounce of control she has to not jump for joy, as it is she can’t hold back the small squeak of excitement. 

 

They both blush at the squeal of elation Tali let’s out. “I have missed every interaction between the two of you so far, I deserved to see this!” Tali bounces on her feet, “I am so happy right now!”

 

“Great!” Ashley grins, ignoring Tali for now, “I have a couple things to take care of as soon as we land, but as soon as it’s done, I’ll take you somewhere.”

 

“Anywhere,” Sam breathes out, grateful that Ashley only grins wider.

 

“I’ll see you then.”

 

Tali nearly tackles Ashley as she retreats and Sam is too stunned and happy to hear the animated prattling as it carries down the hall


	11. Oh There's a Date in This One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey look a Date. And some kisses. It's cute AF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well looky here, I'm alive! First! I have taken some time and re-worked this entire fic and have actually fixed the fuck up tense in every chapter so that it actually flows. Also took out a part or two because it felt wrong to me (you know the sex dream Sam has because I just... didn't like it and it doesn't really fit, apologies) 
> 
> So if you wish to, you can start again and read some minor changes I put in, nothing too drastic! Thank you for your patience! And please enjoy this cavity inducing chapter and also the small part of poetry that for some reason took me hours to figure out.

Sam is nervous, really fucking nervous. Her entire day has been spent skirting around the original crew of the first Normandy, or at least trying to. Tali is really good at sneaking up on her and asking questions she doesn’t have answers to. It’s cute, in a way. Tali seems just as excited about this as Sam is.

 

Not wanting to be seen by most of the crew, Ashley suggested the mess hall where they wouldn’t have to walk by quite so many people and Ashley didn’t want to spill about where they were going. Sam knew it wouldn’t matter, they were going to have eyes on them at all times before disembarking on the Citadel. 

 

Sam is sitting at the table, fiddling with her, long-ago, empty cup. She resists the urge to fidget in a skirt she’s pretty sure she’s only worn once and a top that had been given to her by Liara. A very suspiciously matching top, at that. 

 

Her mind wanders off, trying to figure out when at all Liara might have been able to even see that the only nice thing she had with her was this skirt when a voice startles her.

 

“Hey,” Ashley grins at the surprised look on Sam’s face. She is grateful that Sam was distracted because as soon as Ashley had seen her, she stopped and stared for a good minute before getting herself together and announcing her presence.

 

Sam stands quickly, nearly knocking over her chair in the process, “He— hey? He— hello. Yes, hello,” Sam flushes at Ashley’s knowing grin. “Ready?” Sam says breathlessly, as she slowly takes in Ashley’s attire.

 

Ashley’s battle armor is strangely revealing, but the dress she is currently sporting manages to show off her calves way more than the boots she wears.  _ Bloody fuck, if I wasn’t a leg kind of girl already… _

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Ashley’s relieved that she isn’t the only one nervous. “That shirt looks  _ really _ good on you.”

 

“I wish I could take the credit, but Liara gave it to me.”

 

“Liara?”

 

“Yeah, I found it weird too. Thankful, but weird. I didn’t even have time to grab my toothbrush let alone extra clothes when we took off in the Normandy. Liara just happens to have some human clothing I guess? Because there’s no way this fits Shepard, she’d rip this shirt with those arms of hers. Not that I notice them or anything, nope. Really, how did she manage to even grab something like this? Didn’t her ship get blown up or something? Wouldn’t you grab other things that were more important than a nice looking shirt? Unless it meant something… oh my god, what if this is, like, their kinky date shirt— ”

 

Ashley laughs as she interrupts Sam, “Sam, you look beautiful in it, don’t worry about it. Besides, who’s to say it won’t be  _ our _ kinky date shirt?” She regrets the words immediately but Sam’s choked laughter puts her at ease.

 

“We’re a disaster and we haven’t even left the Normandy yet.

 

“Hopeless is more like it. Come on, before we have anymore witnesses.”

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Ashley takes her to some fancy sushi restaurant and Sam nearly throws a fit about it, “how the hell did you get a table here? It’s booked up for a solid 6 months, at the very least.”

 

Ashley blushes, “Well, technically it’s Shepard’s table, we’re kind of just keeping it warm. Joker managed to get a table and I might have bribed him into letting us use it for an hour or so.”

 

“You mean you didn’t plan this out months ago on some sort of hope that you’d have a date for tonight?” Sam laughs.

 

“I would never!” Ashley can feel her ears turning red.

 

“I think you might be lying,” Sam taps the tip of Ashley’s ear, letting her finger trace the curve of it. She pulls away at Ashley’s sharp inhale and clears her throat, “but thank you, I’ve always wanted to eat here.”

 

“Anytime,” comes Ashley's breathless reply.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


As it turns out, Joker had the place reserved for the whole week, knowing how sporadic the Commander could be with her time. Something both ladies are grateful for because they are sure they’d get an earful if the Commander and Joker showed up in the middle of their first real date. 

 

Ashley takes Sam for a stroll through the Presidium, she has a destination in mind, but is in no hurry to get there. The artificial breeze is enjoyable and it’s helping to calm her nerves when she shyly slips her hand into Sam’s.

 

Both of their faces are flush with this new development and Ashley is especially grateful that Shepard is not here to tease her about the way she’s acting.

 

It doesn’t take long for Sam to inch closer, resting her free hand on Ashley’s bicep. She ignores Ashley’s knowing grin when she gives it a little squeeze, “this is nice. I feel like it’s been non-stop chaos since I’ve met all of you.” 

 

Ashley nods, and Sam’s a bit worried, she looks distracted.

 

“Yeah,” Ashley says, her attention somewhere else. She’s looking for something and Sam finally realizes that she’s never been to this area before. “There it is! I found something you’ll like! I hope you do… EDI mentioned it opened a few days ago.” Ashley says excitedly, pulling Sam towards one of the storefronts.

 

Sam gasps at the displays in the window, “Are these— and those are… holy shit!” Sam is bouncing with excitement. “You are amazing!” Sam rushes out, stands on her toes and gives Ashley a quick kiss on the cheek before fluttering around the store, excitedly touching and talking about the strategy games she comes across.

 

Ashley is relieved that this worked out, she had been driving Shepard nuts with this date and how nervous about it she was, and if taking Sam to a place like this was a good idea. Who takes a girl to a game shop as a first date? The joy and excitement beaming out of Sam leaves her without a doubt that this is indeed the best plan. Ashley is going to have to thank EDI for the suggestion.

 

Sam eventually grabs Ashley’s hand and drags her through the store, stopping every so often to talk animatedly about one of the games. Ashley has to fight a laugh when Sam gets huffy about some inaccuracy or terrible rule change.

 

Ashley isn’t sure how long they spend in the store, but it’s long enough that the owners kick them out. Ashley, while Sam is arguing with one of  the store owners, put a payment down for a ridiculously expensive but  _ real _ chess set and some miniature version of some Asari game that Ashley is not going to try and pronounce.

 

As they step out, the filtered lights, mimicking the night sky, feels refreshing and Ashley is reluctant to go back to the ship.

 

Sam is still going on about the games in the store, missing the look of awe on Ashley’s face.

 

Ashley can’t pinpoint what exactly is going on in her mind or what Sam is talking about, ever since Sam’s lips brushed across her cheek in thanks, Ashley can’t focus on anything else.

 

She stops walking, Sam soon follows when the hand she’s holding pulls her back. “Hey,” Ashley’s words come out breathless.

 

“Hi…” Sam responds, stepping closer to Ashley, barely enough room for light to pass between them.

 

“Can I…?” Is all Ashley can get out, her eyes continuously drifting down to Sam’s lips.

 

“Whenever you want,” Sam’s whispers, almost afraid she’ll break the moment if she speaks any louder.

 

Ashley grins, a small chuckle escapes right before she leans in and softly presses her lips to Sam’s.

 

Sam inhales sharply, somehow surprised at the touch of lips. Her eyes flutter shut and she fully steps into Ashley, her hands resting on Ashley’s cheeks, not wanting her to pull away.

 

Something Ashley doesn’t even think about doing as one of her hands settles on Sam’s back, the other resting on Sam’s face, her thumb lightly brushing over Sam’s cheek.

 

Ashley continues to kiss her slow, and soft, like she’s trying to map and memorize Sam’s lips and Sam lets one hand drift and tangle into Ashley’s hair and the other settles on the back of Ashley’s neck, lightly running her nails over it.

 

Ashley breathes out, “Samantha,” and Sam’s knees weaken and she grips Ashley’s hair tightly, trying to steady herself. 

 

The way Ashley says her name feels almost alien, she’s used to the shortened version, but Ashley says all of it like she’s a long lost treasure and any lingering thought Sam might have had hat Ashley wasn’t really into her vanishes.

 

Time passes, neither aware of how much, when Ashley tugs at Sam’s lower lip with her teeth and pulls back, eyes shining and lips swollen. It takes Sam a few moments to realize Ashley maneuvered her against a wall and she’s forever grateful because she’s certain her legs are seconds from giving out.

 

Ashley’s hands settle on Sam’s hips, her thumbs lightly grazing the skin there. Sam’s hands stay where they are and Ashley’s eyes flutter and lower in pleasure as Sam continues to move her nails along Ashley’s neck.

 

“Well, now you’re stuck with me, because after kissing me like that, I’m not about to let you go any time soon,” Sam jokes, internally cringing at how terrible it is.

 

Ashley chuckles and gives Sam a small peck on the lips before resting her forehead on Sam’s shoulder, not caring to move somewhere less public, “...and your enticing laughter—  that indeed has stirred up the heart in my breast. For whenever I look at you even briefly I can no longer say a single thing…”

 

Sam opens her eyes, giddy for many reasons and she continues where Ashley leaves off, “But my tongue is frozen in silence; instantly a delicate flame runs beneath my skin; with my eyes I see nothing; my ears make a whirring noise.” 

 

Ashley stares, jaw slack in surprise, “You, you know that?”

 

“As much as I’d like to tell you that of course I know Sappho, I can’t really take the credit. Some friends in I, back in college, decided that we needed to know at least one poem to impress ladies. That was the only one I could manage.” She grins sheepishly.

 

Ashley laughs, “It explains this feeling well, at least.”

 

“It does.” Sam whispers, her eyes darting back to Ashley’s lips. 

 

Ashley bites her lip and watches Sam’s eyes darken at seeing it. She grins and presses her lips to Sam’s once more, “You have such a one-track mind.”

 

Sam blushes, but she doesn’t look away, “I’ll have you know that you are very distracting right now.”

 

“So it seems,” Ashley snorts, brushing her nose over Sam’s, “as much as I hate to end this, we need to get back.”

 

Sam pouts, “Fine, be responsible.”

 

“One of us has to be or Shepard might come find us.” She regretfully pulls away from their embrace, but doesn’t lose contact, wrapping an arm around Sam’s waist and they start heading back to the Normandy.

 

Sam leans her head on Ashley’s shoulder, “Very good reason.”

 

They fall silent, enjoying the quiet around them. They take their time getting back, Ashley sometimes stopping them to pull Sam in for a quick kiss, only for Sam to prolong it. It takes them over an hour to get back to the Normandy and Sam reluctantly starts to pull away.

 

“You ok?” Ashley asks as they step into the docking lift.

 

“I’m kind of afraid I’m going to wake up,” Sam mumbles.

 

“Well, when you do, let me know and I’ll say good morning.”

 

Sam looks at Ashley, confused. Ashley just grins and kisses Sam teasingly on the nose. “Goodnight, Samantha.”

 

“Goodnight, Ashley.” Sam watches Ashley blush and head towards her room and Sam wastes no time in silently jumping and doing a weird and very uncoordinated dance once Ashley is behind closed doors.

 

“I take it things went well,” Liara says from the kitchen area.

 

Sam stumbles and she lets out a closed-mouth shriek, “For fucks sake Liara!”

 

Liara grins over her mug of tea, “I apologize for frightening you, however, I was afraid you might hurt yourself.” She sets her mug down and reaches for another, “I may have also wanted to see for myself that everything went well. It did go well, yes?”

 

“Yes, yes it did.” Sam replies, taking the offered cup of tea from Liara.

 

“I am glad.” Liara says, sighing with relief.

 

Sam chews her lip and shuffles her feet and she can’t help herself so she blurts out, “Her lips are so soft and she’s so warm and she took me to this place…!” Sam starts prattling on excitedly about the date Ashley took her on and Liara smiles and listens patiently, her own excitement and happiness growing for her two friends.


End file.
